Hey how is it going, Im 23, I have a hard time talking to girls and even worse time trying to get a date. I would say that I look decent, by my scale around 7-7,5 out of 10, Im fairly tall, dress fine and take care of myself so I wouldnt say that my looks are what is keeping me from making it work. I have a decent amount of friends, some closer some not so close and I never have a problem making a new friend at a party or even on the street, I find it super easy to talk to guys and make new friends effortlessly. But I cant talk to girls at all. I recognize that I cant talk to them the same way I talk to guys and its making me fell inadequate. Just yesterday I went to this big party in the open, mood was great, music was great, just a great time. Beside us where these 2 girls and they stayed there the whole night. One of them which i really liked was gorgeous, an easy 8,5 out of 10, she seem nice and approachable, not in any way bitchy or like shes was aboive all the rest. We kinda looked at each other a few times and it wasnt weird. Seemed like a good opportunity. Nothing happened, didnt apporach, didnt ask anything , left to wonder what if. I have 0 confidence talking to girls , I wouldnt know what to say, the times i tried I felt i was boring and rarely had any topics in common. Help the brother out, may there come a day when I can stop drowning pathetically. Cheers, have a good one, If someone bothers to answer I can add more context if needed.
3 comments
some are naturally confident, but for the rest of us, it’s all about practice.
it’s just like any skill, a few are born with natural talent, but most need to put in effort.
it might not be the answer you were looking for, but trust me, nothing (except maybe drugs) is going to make it instantly easier.
you need to push yourself to talk to girls and try to act confident even though you’re not. two guys can tell the same bad joke, but the guy who tells it with confidence and laughs at it himself has a way better chance of hooking up than the guy who becomes awkward and self conscious because the joke didn’t land.
you will inevitably fuck up, make an ass out of yourself, say the wrong thing, get rejected .. but for every time that happens, it should become easier to try again.
remind yourself that you’re the prize. and that the worst case scenario is a girl rejecting you, and you could still laugh it off and make friends with that girl.
getting rejected isn’t even a bad thing, it’s just helping you narrow down who’s actually right for you. you have literally nothing to lose. it’s all in your head my guy just do it.
last tip is to basically act is if you already were a couple, go up to a girl and just say whatsup and ask how she’s doing, what she did today, ask questions to make her talk if you don’t know what to say. most people love hearing themselves talk/being heard rather than listen to others.
don’t be afraid of touching her, (anything from removing some lint from her clothes, to giving a friendly shove) and then take notice to how she reacts. you will know if she doesn’t want to talk/be with you, and if you don’t see any signs of her being uncomfortable, just go for the kiss.
As a woman I’d say don’t put so much pressure on yourself or on her to have a romantic relationship. You are putting women on the pedestal that she didn’t ask to be placed on. Change your mindset of seeing her as this beautiful being who you are interested in and instead see her as a potential friend.
Talk to strangers outside, doesnt matter if its a boy or a girl, or a grandmom or grandpa. Get into the habit of talking. So if you see a girl that interests you, you be more prepared