I grew up a quiet/shy loser with no friends. I was never able to come out of my shell. So as a 23 y/o adult, I’m very behind socially. I’m sure if I was able to be myself and freely speak my mind I’d be able to make friends. But the problem is I grew up hiding myself and my personality my whole life. So I don’t know how to do that.
How do I just let loose? How do I just be myself and not worry what other people think? I know I need a lot of therapy but in the meantime I want to improve on my own until I get to the place where I’m ready for therapy. There’s a lot of stuff I’m repressing that I’m not ready to unpack lol.
Im trying to speak to more people, smile, wave, make conversations and try to make myself more approachable. But I still struggle. I work with my sister and she’s made so many friends. She laughs, smiles, jokes around and I’m just known as her “quiet sister”. I’m so jealous of her tbh. I wish I was like her. We grew up in the same environment but she was able to not let that affect her.
I want to read some self help books not only for the mental stimulation that reading gives, but to learn how to help myself. I want to become a better person.
1 comment
Your honesty is a good place to start
Although Dale Carnegie’s how to win friends and influence people is a bit of a classic it can make you shallow and be self defeating
Start of by being honest about what your are interested in and what you like and dislike
because you are still young ish Try keeping a journal for the next 30 days in which you write about what was the best part and worst part of each day
Also write a list of the character traits you have: the good, the not great and the deal breakers- things you do that you find unacceptable – work on the getting rid of the latter by doing the opposite
Using the guide Happiness Chemicals and how to hack them in R/Coolguides to learn to nourish yourself emotionally so you won’t come across as needy and vulnerable because that will either attract predators or repel people
Take it easy