Hello, I (38M) am getting married pretty soon. The person (39M) that I considered my best friend was a no brainer for best man. It required no thought at all I just knew it was to be him.
I’d been getting asked about a bachelor party and I did not know anything. Best man hadn’t said anything so I assumed that there wouldn’t be one and I was ok with that. My future brother in law wanted to see if there was anything planned so he asked for his number and that’s where this ended up. Instead of simply asking if anything was organized he “reminded him of his unwritten obligation to organize something”
I didn’t proofread the message before he sent it, I didn’t think asking if something was planned was a big deal but I did not know that he was going to open the way he did… which to be honest isn’t terrible but best friend doesn’t like being told what to do so I know why we are where we are now.
No conversation took place between them and he did not respond to my text.
I’m really struggling with this. I don’t know what to do with this friendship, if there is even one now? I feel like this is my fault, and really it is mine because I gave him his number. I’m gutted that the one person I trusted and wanted standing next to me so easily kicked me to to curb so to speak. Do I try and salvage this? I can’t be the only person this has happened to?
I’m so lost because of this.
4 comments
He needs to grow up and if he kicked you to the curb over something someone else said then what kind of friend is he anyway? Does not sound like you lost much if he didn’t talk to you about it and give you a chance to explain.
Give it 48 hrs, then try for a reconciliation.
Your (former) bf sounds like a jerk. It sounds like he has always been a jerk, it wasn’t BIL’s text that turned him into one. Time to assign the bachelor party to BIL to organize (why would you have been fine with just passively allowing your ‘bf’ not to organize something?!). No, you don’t try to patch things up. It sounds like you think of him fondly and he hardly considers you worth his time.
> I’m gutted that the one person I trusted and wanted standing next to me so easily kicked me to to curb so to speak.
I think this is what it comes down to. Your supposed “best friend” cut you off for something your FBIL said to him, without even discussing it with you.
I dont think you guys are as close as you thought you were.