At first, it was my best friend. I asked her to hang out multiple times and she would respond enthusiastically but always ended up cancelling. Then it was my neighbour and childhood friend who moved 15 minutes away and started hanging out with new friends. We never talk anymore. Both of these happened in less than a year.
I truly tried to move on and hang out with my other friends. Unfortunately, my other best friend moved abroad. An old high school friend (M) and I got extremely close this year but today she went out with another friend of mine that we hung out with before. They didn’t invite me. I truly didn’t think any of it at first but then saw that the same friend (M) went out with my OTHER friend (not mentioned yet) and didn’t invite me.
I’m really trying to not take any of this personally and wind it up to it being a transitional period in our lives but the only common denominator here is me. I’m positive that I didn’t do anything wrong and most of them don’t know each other so it must be my personality. But i’ve known them all for 5+ years. What could’ve changed? I casually texted them something along the lines of “heyy i saw you guys hung out would’ve loved to join you guys, i missed you” and i’m just waiting for a response now.
M and I talk almost daily that’s why i’m surprised she didn’t invite me. Other than that, even my best friend abroad doesn’t really talk to me. I’m not in a position where I can make new friends and I don’t know what to do. If lose them, I’ll have no one. I do have one other friend that i’ll be hanging out with this week but she lives hours away from me and I haven’t seen her in months.
I went through a lot last year, lost my scholarship, dropped out of college, am recovering from several addictions, and stopped talking to everyone for a few months – but it’s been a year and i’ve hung out with most of them since. Meaningful connections are so important to me but it feels like no one wants anything to do with me anymore. I’m turning 21 soon and i’m trying to rebuild my life but it’s hard to do that with no support whilst worrying about everything and feeling hopeless.
1 comment
Accept it. The sooner you do the sooner you can grow and move on.
I went through a period of time like this. Unless you never leave your house for any reason, you’ll have the opportunity to make friends. Sounds like these people are from high school, and to be honest a lot of those friendships end up fizzling out after a few years.
If you want advise from my own experience, find a bartending job. Ideally at a place where conversation is possible. This can help you practice small talk with people and sharpen some social skills.
Beyond that, just find the right people to be around. It’s better to have no friends than people just pretending to be your friend. Know your worth and stuff like that.