I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years now. We have lived together for the past 2. We got together in high school, me when I was 15 and he when he was 16. The first years of the relationship we everything you would expect from teenage romance. We had a lot of fun together but there were also a lot of arguments. We have never been the best at communication where I am more “go with the flow” and he gets frustrated very easily. At times I feel like I’m exhausting myself trying to keep up with his moods. Despite a few arguments here and there, we both still enjoy one another.
However, I have begun to feel almost bored in the relationship. There is hardly any intimacy and I feel as though we are stuck in the same routine. I’m sure this is a feeling many people have felt with their partner, is it worth trying to work on this relationship? I can’t help but wonder if there is something more fulfilling for me out there, is that selfish/realistic to consider? We have been together all through college where most people typically get to experience different things that I never got a chance to explore.
I know there is a possibility that there will always be a “what if” in any relationship but I can’t help but wonder. I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m unhappy but I’m definitely not as happy as I was when the relationship first began.
Any thoughts/advice?
2 comments
I think there’s still plenty to work on before you decide to call it quits. Relationships require you to actively work on them, especially at 7 years. You gotta go out and do things together, consciously plan intimate acts etc. Every relationship becomes “boring” over time. Pretty much anything you’re used to does. It’s up to you to keep it interesting.
If you go out seeking something better just because, you’ll end up losing what you have and what you’re looking for.
I think there’s a difference between what I’ll call “boring” and “routine”. “Routine” I would define as when the spark has faded, there’s no longer so much passionate sex or kissing, you don’t dream of the person anymore… but at the same time the person challenges you to be a better person, and they’re always there when you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen. When you think about who’s in your corner, that’s the first person that comes to mind. It’s the person you would feel comfortable sharing anything with, even your deepest darkest secrets. Sex is still fun, if for nothing else than because y’all know how it goes like the back of your hand, and there’s a certain tranquility to that which is pleasant, even if it’s not passionate like before. It’s funny, because while day-to-day life with this person may feel routine or even monotonous, there’s still a subtle excitement about going through the adventure of life with your best friend.
“Boring”, on the other hand… well, it has none of what I mentioned above. Just routine. And a longing for more. Maybe even beginning to resent that person. An obstacle.
It’s not selfish for you to consider this. Good for you. No right answer here, but I thought my musings might help. Good luck to you!