I recently saw [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskBalkans/comments/v0e4v2/what_do_you_think/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) controversial map which categorizes European countries according to whether they will offer you food.
I am from both the US and Israel, where I think it’s very common to offer guests whatever you have in your house. Especially in Israel, where my friends will ask what do I have to eat 😅 and I do the same in their homes. We always have extra food for guests. If someone stays late and it’s unexpectedly dinner time, we will eat together. It’s a very hospitable culture. How is it for you?
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Yes, but maybe a big difference compared to Southern European countries: I don’t expect to be fed and it’s not rude not to offer your guests nothing to eat if there’s nothing good to eat at your house at the moment 🙂
Surprises are nice, and you may be greeted by a 3 courses meal or have nothing at all – both are OK. If you’re not hungry it’s perfectly alright to refuse, and if you are and nothing is available, ordering in is also OK.
> is it common to invite someone into your home, and if so, can they expect to be fed?
People you’ve just met? No and no. Maybe a cup of coffee and a biscuit.
Personally, I don’t consider someone a guest unless they have been invited specifically for a meal or are staying the night. If so, they get food, of course.
You might get a cookie if you come around during tea time, but unlikely you’ll get dinner. People often plan dinner in advance and buy groceries according to how many people will come and eat so it often won’t stretch to fit another person. Plus people with small kids often have a certain dinner and bed time routine that they don’t like to switch up. If the host has plenty of food, no little kids that need to be in bed by 7.30, and you know each other very well you might be invited to dinner.
I don’t know who put this map together, but I can say it’s incorrect for Poland. It’s not “usually yes”, it’s not “almost always”. It’s virtually always.
There is no way in hell you’ll have someone over and not offer them food. If they say “no, thank you”, they’ll get it anyway.
You can come over but if I didn’t invite you specifically for dinner or it isn’t a day long thing “we’re about to eat” means you’re better be on your way.
You will get something to drink and like a cookie or stroopwafel though.
It’s basically the norm here , no matter what time of the day it is or if you ate at home, if you’re at someone else you eat and if you have someone at home you give them something to eat .
Accurate for England, though in my experience there’s not as much difference between England and Scotland as the map suggests. As a child I got food if I was visiting friends after-school as a matter of scheduling convenience, but as an adult unless you’re visiting family or a close friend who likes to cook/there is already a family-style cooking event going on (like a BBQ) you can expect a cup of tea and a biscuit but no meal-style food.
It’s mostly drinks, rather than food. If you have a kid in the house you might offer them, I don’t know, cookies or something similar.
With adults, as I said, it’s mostly about something to drink – very often coffee – and it’s something you do together and not something you just offer to them.
I’m from the north east in Germany. We have a saying – we only have two primal fears. The Russians are coming and there is not enough food.
You’ll get more food than you want. I heard that a lot about Germany and I’m really wondering why.
Yes it’s common.
However in Denmark, unless you’re a kid running around from house to house with your neighborhood friends (this is also where the entire “iN sCaNdInAvIa tHeY dOn’T fEeD tHeIr kIdS FriEnDs! Those *monsters*” discourse comes from), staying over at someone’s house for dinner is basically always pre-planned. Unless you’re *very* very close friends I don’t feel like it’s “I’m coming over”, it’s always “can I come over?”.
Food is also very expensive here (even relative to income I’m pretty sure) so at least until you have a “proper adult job” you’ll be expected to contribute at least a little bit most of the time.
In youth I feel like by far most socialization takes place after dinner or during weekend days. If it’s dinner I feel like just ordering fast food seems more common than cooking (going out to a proper restaurant would break your budget 100%).
They will offer you something to eat, but:
– If it’s a snack on a short visit, it’s fine
– If it’s a visit that drags on and they end up inviting you for lunch or dinner, depending on the situation it may be rude to accept: maybe the host has other plans that you’re ruining, maybe they don’t have enough food at home for everyone, maybe they don’t feel like cooking…
Even an invitation to stay for lunch/dinner can be a sign of “it’s time for you to leave, friend”.
How do you tell if it’s a real invitation? They will be very (VERY) insistent that you stay and will probably talk about what you are going to eat, they may even take you to the kitchen to show it to you
Hell no. At least in my experience, people generally only visit if it’s been pre-arranged and the reason is known beforehand for the visit. (Usually days or weeks in advance). Coffee, Sunday lunch, to get drunk are the 3 main readons. People very rarely turn up unannounced in Finland. It’s generally considered rude and insensitive to do so.
It’s perhaps less so with my brother-in-law and his family as we live quite close and do a lot together. But even then, if they called to drop something off or pick something up, one of the kids might get offered a ice cream.
I first read this as *what* can they expect to be fed, because “obviously” you offer food. Assuming just adults, it depends on how long they’re staying – someone comes just to drop something off and stays for a bit, then just coffee/tea and whatever snacks you have. If it’s dinner time, then of course you eat together.