Are people in your area usually closer with their maternal or paternal grandparents (& other relatives)? Why? Or is there no notable pattern?

6 comments

1. I’d say it depends on who you live closer to. My paternal grandmother lives a 1.5h drive away. My maternal grandparents live at the moment 5 minutes away, and maybe half an hour when me and my siblings were little. And my paternal aunts, uncles, cousins etc all live/lived close to my grandmother whereas my maternal relatives are more spread out with some living pretty close and others further away. So we were much closer to my maternal grandparents growing up as well as the aunts/uncles who lived the closest and have kids my age. The others I saw about as much as my paternal relatives so we’re not really close.

2. (Speaking of rural areas here)

   It’s more or less the norm that a woman marries into a mans family, meaning she moves to him on his farm or at the very least in his village. Because of that paternal grandparents are inherently closer because they are also closer in space. The maternal grandparents usually live minimum a few villages away, so you’d have to actively visit them instead of them just being around like the paternal grandparents.

   Obviously it also mainly depends on personal circumstances etc. etc.

3. I haven’t noticed a pattern ever in Austria.

   I guess people are often closer to the grandparents that live closer and where there are more meetings in person. However, in my own case I felt closer to the grandparents that lived further away (maternal). They were just nicer than the other grandparents.

4. In my case, maternal, since my father was older than my mother, so his parents died when I was little and my grandma, mothers mother, is the only grandparent still alive.

   I think it depends on the person tho, my grandmother is very family oriented and bakes stuff every week, cooks lunches sometimes, also for my cousin, aunt who is sister to my mother, and uncle. We all live in a 7km radius, countryside.

   In my familiy there is a sense of matriarchy, especially since the grandmother really worked her ass off her whole life to provide and take care for everyone all the time, from babies to adults.

   I think it is common for young mothers to go stay with their mothers for a bit, so they can get help and more rest, when the baby is still very little. And that’s when the bond increases and grandmother becomes the alpha. Little children know to respect grandmas and it stays like that for the rest of life.

5. Personally I’m closer with my maternal side even though they live a bit further away than my paternal. Probably because my mum was a stay at home mum until I was 16/17.

   Having said that though I’m way closer with my paternal extended family than my maternal extended family.

   No idea if any of this is usual/ unusual though

6. In general, as others have said, it depends on who’s living where.
   The only thing that might skew the ratio is that more girls than boys leave the rural areas for urban areas, which might mean that more kids live closer to their paternal relatives. This is pure speculation and conjecture, and I have no statistics to back it up. I’m merely trying to think of a way there might be a pattern.