husband’s phone

15 comments

1. Checking his phone to temporarily relieve your anxiety is not going to help. It’s going to become addictive and make things worse. Has your husband been acting in a manner lately that would lead you to believe he has been unfaithful? There is a great relationship app called Marriage 365. They help with all kinds of issues including dealing with mistrust and infidelity. My husband and I started using it when we first got married, and the courses and advice are very helpful. Please look it up.

2. Do it. So many red flags 🚩

3. Be prepared for what you may find.

4. If you ask to see his phone and he does anything other then hand it over. That’s all you need to know.

   I can take my wives phone and vice verse. If you have nothing to hide there isn’t an issue.

   The question is if you go through his phone and there nothing to be worried about then what? He will feel like you don’t trust him

5. Why bother, he’s either cheating or doesn’t care enough about you to alive your concerns. Both are shitty behavior. Why would you want to be with someone that does either?

6. Uh, if I saw my husband calling someone else his one love, etc yeah….I wouldn’t need to see his phone. I’d just be done. What could be worse? I’m not going to play second best to anyone, I’d rather be struggling with life on my own. But that’s me. I know others seem to have a much higher tolerance for asshattery and different priorities.

7. When I get that feeling I always do it and many times it’s my gut feeling! Many times with exes I’ve stumbled upon cheating and messages and things. It’s just an unsettling feeling in my stomach that I can’t get rid of, like super curiosity 😅 that’s my womanly instinct telling me that something is up.

8. Your husband called someone else his one love and his queen. Why is keeping the peace between him and this other woman more important than your peace of mind as his *wife*? You should come first to him, not his ex, but he’s not placing you first.

   Is he calling you crazy for thinking he’s cheating on you? From an outside look, you’re not coming off as a “crazy wife,” he’s coming off as a cheating husband for his actions.

9. What’s the issue? Do you suspect he’s guilty of something?

10. Trust your gut.
    From your other comments, you’re not crazy or jealous, he’s unfaithful. If you need the confirmation than go through whatever you need to. But honestly, I don’t even think you need to, you already know.

11. He’s cheating. Take an inventory- you saw the start of a love letter he was writing to her. He is making late night phone calls. He is talking to HER, not a girl of the same name. He is making purchases for her and I guarantee it’s lingerie.

    You need to decide what you want. If you think there is a chance, and you want a future with this man, arrange marriage counselling. If not gather your evidence. Invest in a nanny cam. You can also buy trackers online which you could hide in his car. Start making plans and put money into an account he has no knowledge of. Even small amounts build up weekly. You also need to see a lawyer to protect your assets.

    Don’t waste time and energy going through his phone. You’ve alerted him now and unless he’s a complete idiot he will cover his tracks.

    Good look making the best possible decision for you.

12. If you have a feeling then I say do it.

13. He is gaslighting about the email. If he is cheating can you really live with that? I’d make a plan to leave. Contact family or a friend you can confide in. Let them know your suspensions and that you need support. Place to stay/hide until you know what you want to do. If it will help get into therapy.

14. Just remember, you can’t un-see things. So buckle up.

15. You have to ask yourself why you are tolerating this, and really look into what would be the results of actually getting answers.

    You know he’s lied, you know he’s made secret purchases, you know he’s talking to someone late at night. You aren’t guessing, but not confronting him allows you to keep the status quo.

    If what you want is status quo, or you aren’t ready to actually deal with the whole of your relationship, then be honest with yourself about that, and let it go. It will be empowering to choose something- part of your pain is the half-way nature of how it’s been handled so far.