why does turning 30 Feels scary

9 comments

1. For me it was the feeling of inadequacy, or the level of progress in life compared to others in my age group. Still single, no family, not financially stable.

2. Classic student syndrome. Why is 30 a meaningful milestone? If you didn’t achieve any of those goals by 29, shouldn’t that have led to alarm bells ringing as well? Surely, getting a good job, finishing grad school, having a house etc cannot all happen in 1 year, so you should have started feeling scared at 29.

   The same argument can be made for 28, 27 etc.

   Learn about procrastination and take steps not to indulge in it.

3. It is. You are on the hight of you physical and psychical fitness. Now it only will get worse.

4. Hello, F(34) here. By the time I turned 30 I thought I had it all figured out, got a divorce, changed jobs, career, everything. Now 34 and I slowly feel I might be getting somewhere, still absolutely anxious still. Don’t feel bad, don’t give extra pressure to yourself. This is not a race and you are definitely not expected to have anything figured out by X age. Take it one day at the time, enjoy the little things: seeing family, eating out, meeting a friend.

5. To me the thirty just became scaring as the 26, 27, 28,etc… when at 25 y/o I realised I have an expiration date. I’m not ready to get old, so much things I have missed of my youngest years.

6. To be brutally honest as a female your physical attractiveness peaks in the early twenties then it’s downhill from there.

   Having said that as a single man in his early thirties I’d be honored to date a 30 year old woman with a kind heart and a humble personality. Remember to keep your standards realistic and you can attract a good man.

7. You will never have it all. If you think you do, you will just want more.

   If love is at the bottom of your list, leave it there. You are at the age where everyone’s clock is front and center. Age is just a number you can totally ignore. I know many who found happiness later. Even more who wouldn’t have been ready to settle down and would have blown up the relationship.

   You sound like someone who is comfortable in your own skin. You like yourself and being with yourself. Don’t let a season of life make you question that.

   You will look when you are ready. Looking when you are desperate or anxious leads to bad decisions based on the wrong reasons.

8. Let’s put aside the reassurances that life (including love life) continues after 30 for a second.

   Would it have been better if you’d rushed into a relationship before now to avoid this feeling? If you’d settled for someone that only sort of makes you happy, or doesn’t at all, so you could tick off the ‘family’ box? Would it be better if you’d prioritized securing a husband over all the other things you accomplished during your 20s? Is that really the person you wish you were?

   Considering you decided not to do those things, I doubt it. It sounds like what you’re experiencing now is a product of the not-so-subtle messages society gives women about only being valuable because they are young and beautiful, and that as they age, people will stop seeing them as beautiful, and therefore stop valuing them as romantic partners. And if they don’t procreate, they lose their value altogether.

   It’s understandable to be scared when those messages start applying to you. It can cause people to make rash decisions out of fear. Don’t fall for it. It’s a cultural lie designed to make you feel desperate, buy products, give up your agency, and settle for less than you deserve.

   Love happens when it happens. It’s not a race, and you’re not running out of time to be fulfilled. You have already made *huge* strides in fulfilling your dreams, and are simply looking for a few more pieces to add to your very successful life. Your progress is impressive, and you’re doing great.

9. as a guy, if you didnt mess up your 20s, early 30s is prime