When my partner first moved in I couldn’t understand how someone could get toast crumbs literally everywhere until I saw him do this. He gets out a plate, puts the toast on it and then for some inexplicable reason, picks up the toast off the plate, cradles it in his hand and then butters it. I think he has perfected the art of getting crumbs literally anywhere but the plate. He maintains this is the correct way to butter toast. Am I losing my mind? Why do you have to manhandle the toast? Is the plate for aesthetic purposes only? Is he broken? Is it some kind of freemason ritual? Are there actually unspoken cultural divides which can only be recognised through the toast buttering method you use? Someone help.
11 comments
It’s not about manhandling it. It’s about getting the toast at the right angle to get maximum coverage and with the least amount of strokes.
Your partner is somewhat retarded
This is what I do,
Normally over the sink, or at work where I don’t give a F about a carpet-bombing of crumbs
He’s a monster!
I use a bread board for that, sweep crumbs into bin and wipe for minimum mess
I butter my toast on the plate direct from the toaster, so it’s as hot as possible and the butter melts. I butter the first slice, then lay the second on top and butter that one; this helps melt the butter on the first slice. Then I put the top one under the bottom one, so it helps melt the butter on that one faster. All the butter melts this way. Then cut into diagonals, grab my mug of coffee and scarf it down whilst reading the news.
I do not like cold toast, or unmelted butter.
Your partner sounds like a toast nightmare. But then … whatever makes you happy. Toast is a deeply personal experience!
If you use a side plate with too much of a curve trying to butter toast will bend the toast in half and depending on your preference of “done” it might just snap on you. I butter on neither plate nor hand but on chopping board, flat surface, easy to wipe clean. Transfer to plate afterwards
Plates aren’t flat though, so in order to spread the butter properly you either need to place it directly on the kitchen surface, or hold it, to ensure maximum spreading area.
A little off topic but Does anyone find their toast can get a tad soggy when sat on a plate because of the heat coming off of it?
Does nobody use a chopping board?! You know we’re living in a society!!
Ooh, this has got me thinking. I’ve done both. Although I do slow buttering when hand cradling to minimise flying crumbage. I do fast buttering when the toast is plated because I know that toast sweat is, even after a short period, starting to accumulate between crust and crockery.