[22F and 27M] Is it sustainable to have a continuous crush on someone else while you’re in a relationship? I have quite a happy relationship with my boyfriend, and I can easily see myself being with him forever. Even before officially dating, we were basically best friends for a few months until the feelings caught up. I’m proud to be with him and never had interest in the guys who showed interest in me throughout our relationship. but I have developed a crush on one his friends, and it makes me feel awful sometimes, even if I don’t plan to ever act on the crush.
This friend is actually surprisingly similar to my bf. I won’t go too much into it, but they both pretty much share the same interests/hobbies and often act in similar ways. He’s just pretty much the introverted and more chill version of my bf, and sometimes he awakens in me the same feelings I had when me and my bf met. but I purposefully keep my distance from him and don’t try to get close to him because of the crush. I think he’s quite respectful of our relationship and seems to keep a distance as well. unfortunately I think that’s also what’s keeping the crush alive, since mystery is a big part of attraction.
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**tl;dr**: how do I stop having a crush on my boyfriend’s friend? I think it’s possible that the crush won’t ever go away, even if I want to keep being together with my boyfriend. but I don’t know if that’s sustainable long-term, has anyone else had a crush throughout their relationship? and I really do love my bf, I have no deeper feelings towards the crush, but it does still bother me.
3 comments
The heart wants what it wants. If you don’t want to have a relationship with this other guy then just don’t. Focus on your relationship with your boyfriend.
The grass is always greener where you tend to it.
You need to break up with your boyfriend. You are doing him a disservice by staying with him.
This literally happened to me in a relationship when I was 22. I am not proud of it, but I cheated because I tried to tell himself exactly what you’re saying above.
That relationship did end, and it was painful and hard, but it was 10000% the best decision. With my husband I have never had those kind of feelings about anyone else. If you are having those types of feelings, there’s nothing wrong with that, but take it as a sign as it’s not meant to be in this relationship.
You’d be best breaking up with your boyfriend, cut all contact off with his friend and find a relationship elsewhere in a different circle of friends