How come most people on dating apps immediately want to meet in person?

9 comments

1. I like to meet right away. It’s easier for someone to lie about who they are through dating sites than in person. I always meet in a public place where I feel comfortable. I have been doing it for a while and haven’t been murdered yet.

2. Well, for me, as a guy, it’s because text is bad for showing tone and who I really am. I mean I am just as goofy via text as I am in person but it doesn’t land as well. Plus texting chemistry and real life chemistry are different.

   I don’t want to text someone for over a week to just to find out we don’t really mesh in person. That and I think it’s easier to make a memorable impression on a date and increase your chances of actually developing a relationship. The longer a girl isn’t seeing me the higher chance she has to meet/go out with someone else.

   I’m not saying all this is correct/factual. Just how I view it.

3. I’m a woman so I let the guy ask but in general I just hate texting endlessly. It’s gotten tedious. Most people aren’t very engaging texters so having to sit down at the end of the day and remind myself to text someone is very unromantic and when someone IS engaging I’m just super interested and want to get to know them to see if we’re actually compatible before we continue on and it hurts worse

4. A lot of people prefer to meet early on to decide if they’re wasting their time if the person they’re meeting doesn’t match what they’re looking for. With online dating, there is a lot of choice/selection so unfortunately it seems that a good chunk of people don’t take the time to get to know someone before meeting up and let the first date decide if it warrants a second date. And if not, then can move onto the next person.

   I’ve only used Hinge, but I would assume that like Hinge, apps would also recommend that people save most of their conversations for meeting in person but personally I disagree as I like to get to know someone better over messages first and feel more comfortable before meeting up. This is also probably why it worked out for me because I was able to meet my current boyfriend while already knowing him after our 3 weeks of messaging (he was going on vacation out of the country when we matched and he let me know that he was interested in meeting up by the 3rd day but let me know that he was going away for a few weeks, which I was fine with waiting)

5. I know if I’m on an app I’m not looking for a pen pal. I’d rather meet quickly and figure out their vibe in person. Nothing worse than texting for a month or more and you go out and they’re super boring or an extreme jerk. Lol

6. I absolutely agree with you. I’m not suggesting be penpals but in this day and age, I want to be absolutely certain if I’m going to date you that, you are who you say you are, that you don’t have red flags and don’t waste my time. I believe in the idea of vetting, I’ve just heard enough bad dating stories and had some of my own to know that’s what I’d do logically.

7. Meeting close to the time you connect doesn’t have to be dangerous. Arrange for a meeting in a public place, like a coffee house, not near your home.
   You find out a lot more from a person face to face.

8. Texting is lame

9. Filtering out time wasters from the people who actually have the intention to meet up and meet someone off app. What’s your definition of ‘immediately’?

   Also, dates are for getting to know people. Texting isn’t imo. I have found people over text can be / come across much different than IRL. You can spend weeks talking to someone over text and find you just don’t vibe in real life, have in person chemistry etc, there’s so much an app doesn’t show you about someone. So I don’t think waiting ages for waiting sake is a great strategy and can just end up a giant waste of both of your time.