In my experience any girl who is mildly attractive on tinder or any dating app, for that matter, ghosts me if I compliment them. I usually throw out “you’re beautiful” or “you’re very pretty” early on in the conversation, along with a question to continue the conversation, and without fail if the girl is mildly attractive or better she ghosts me. Sometimes the compliments aren’t even about their looks it genuinely feels like if I compliment them at all I might as well unmatch right away.
If I want to continue the conversation I have to avoid mentioning their looks altogether and just stick to questions. I like to compliment because besides being nice in my experience people who refuse to compliment others on things they noticed are usually very insecure.
I’m hoping to get some women’s input because I’m lost at this point I haven’t just lost a few matches it’s almost every match. I even tried it with some “less attractive” girls and they will say thank you and continue the conversation. Even if they didn’t say thank you and ignored the compliment I’d be fine with that.
Someone please let me know is this only me? It’s been happening for a while now, I guess I haven’t learned my lesson. It’s even affecting the way I talk to girls in real life. I see guys compliment girls all the time trying to get their number, but I never have before and I don’t know if I will, at least never in person.
Edit:thanks everyone for your responses but Reddit has made me even more confused. So uhh I’ll just stop complimenting I guess. I’ve been pretty tired with dating apps anyway. It makes sense that real world rules don’t apply there even if I would like them to.
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Attractive women get compliments all day every day. It’s boring and basic. Be different if you want to attract her.
She got what she wanted
Just try something different if you feel like complimenting isn’t working. But I’m a woman on dating apps and the only thing that will deter me from continuing a conversation is just having a feeling like there won’t be chemistry or if I’m not that attracted to the person. Like I’ll match if I think you’re cute but If full attraction isn’t there it’s hard to keep a convo going and I don’t wanna waste anyones time after reading how some men’s experiences are on dating apps.
People don’t realize just how thirsty appearance-based compliments can sound. The reason you swiped was mainly because of looks, but when you lay it on thick, it kills the idea in some girls’ minds of you being the type who could ever be into her for anything beyond her looks. The ones where the compliments weren’t looks-based would be unusual but I’d count it as something that has little to do with you. Plenty of people, particularly girls, use tinder largely for the feeling of having people interested in them rather than actually getting back to their matches.
Honestly even as a girl who considers herself not that beautiful, I get this a lot. Don’t come on so strong, maybe that’ll work. A lot of people who come on strong end up getting creepy too quick too, which sucks for you because I can tell you’re not that type of guy, it’s like the analogy “if you get 10 sweets but one is shit flavoured you’d be wary of them all”.
Get to know them a little bit better before going in with strong compliments, I get uncomfortable if I get compliments too, but not from my partner or the people I know past stranger level. This is all just my personal opinion and I’m autistic so I may not help at all, but I hope I do haha.
Look at it like this – you are a COMPLETE stranger to anyone you match with online. Dating apps like tinder and such are based on swiping off looks mainly – yea filling out profiles and trying to get sense of a person are important to people but let’s be serious, people swipe left or right based off looks. So here you are, a complete stranger laying it on thick with unnecessary compliments – it’s too strong and honestly creepy. It’s like if standing in a grocery aisle and someone tapping on the shoulder of a women going “you’re beautiful”. You don’t have any kind of relationship with the women yet – she’s ghosting you because you’re coming on too strong – you and possibly fifteen other men in one day saying the same thing – she has to weed through men she seems creepy to find one she’s comfortable meeting in real life hoping not to get murdered
Where do you expect that conversation to go, though?
“You’re beautiful” “Thanks! I have a 12 step nightly skin care routine, get at least 8 hours of sleep a night, and follow a strict diet! HA serums and staying hydrated are keys to my beauty!”
You also say you’re fine with them ignoring the comment and continuing on with the conversation; so you don’t seem to even care about the content of the conversation at all as much as the fact that you’ve convinced them to keep talking to you. If you don’t want shallow conversations, have meaningful conversations.
If your preferred lines aren’t working, try different lines, different women, or women IRL.
It’s very generic as far as compliments go. Something you could (and apparently do) say to any halfway attractive woman. You must be finding the smart ones.
Idk, personally I’d rather be complimented on my personality or skills than looks. It kinda makes me uncomfortable. I’ve had a lot of experiences with people calling me beautiful in a sketch way to try to get somewhere sexual ig or just ingeniunely. In general tho I would say questions about themselves are way better than an compliment. Would rather have someone interested in my person than to receive compliments. Would want to see more about the other person’s personality too. A nice and genuine conversation goes way further than any sort of compliment. Try to keep convo on topic, if looks get brought up, it would be more appropriate but other wise just throwing it in may make it seem like you aren’t interested in what exactly they’re saying, but more focused on appearance.
I get that I shouldn’t compliment. I understand that it’s my fault it has happened so many times, but isn’t that a strange rule? Like what kind of rule is that? And I had to learn it on my own, nobody said “hey I don’t like compliments they make you look creepy” I just had to learn through trial and error.
Yall males on reddit really have no sense of social cues🥴
Honestly maybe my reasoning is different but I personally get put off by males compliments because I just find them creepy. I can’t even explain it, maybe it’s just because creepy guys tend to do that and they’ve left a shadow. I’d rather get compliments when the time is right. But idk, I’m not even attractive. Someone might try to argue with me that my excuse isn’t good but it’s not my fault that this is how I feel, guys like that low-key piss me off a bit so I just lose my interest.
Women are scared and not visually stimulated like men are. When you compliment them without knowing them, it comes across as creepy or scary.
Your method would only work on a guy. Think about her point of view.