Need help going through and understanding getting dumped and used by date.

I recently was dumped by this girl I’ve been dating for 4 months. We were never official because she always wanted to take things slow. Its been 2 weeks since then and I feel this pit in my chest that won’t go away. I’m completely over her and do not want to ever pursue her because I already was thinking that she was not someone I wanted to marry because there was so many red flags. I guess I continued dating her cause she was like a 6.5 in terms of looks and I considered myself a 6, so we were pretty evenly matched in physical traits, but other everyone tells me that I have a really cute face and also I am 6ft tall.

Anyways, I’ve been trying to deal with getting over her and I know that I got lucky that she ended it before we actually became official or else it would hurt me even more. I just need some understanding if this pit feeling that I have is because I still like her. I tell myself that I don’t like her because she honestly ended it with me in a pretty shit way. Texted me that we didn’t have “chemistry” after 4 months which I would agree because she never wanted me to escalate the physical touch part of the relationship cause she “doesn’t trust men” and wants to take it slow.

I was respectful and backed off from being too physically progressive during the 2nd date. On the 4th date, we had a hour long discussion if we wanted to keep dating because I felt like she wasn’t into me because of the wanting to take it “slow”. I asked her if we were on the same page (whether or not we wanted to continue dating) and she kept on saying she didn’t know and eventually I believed she caved in and said “I like you and still want to date you”. That was the biggest red flag cause I was looking for something serious, but she wasn’t sure. I decided to continue dating her (which I’m a dumbass for because I knew it wasn’t going to work), because I’ve always been a hopeless romantic who believes that things will always work out if we wanted it to. I never learn from my mistakes in dating of being such a naive idiot.

Fast forward, we continued dating for 2.5 months and she seemed like she was slowly warming up to me and I felt like there was progression and that it could work. Our last date went so well. We were together for 6 hrs and she even mentioned “time was passing by so fast” which made me think she was truly enjoying it. Unless she was just fucking lying to me.

3 days after our last date, she decides to send the break up text. I responded right away saying that I understand and I’m not angry at her for it. I did not try to ask her why or convince her to rethink her decision because I’m not a person to force things to work.

Couple days later, I started regretting not calling her to just get an understanding of why she suddenly just wanted to end it. So, I figure since I’ve been such a “great friend” during our date that she would at least have the decency to give me a no bullshit answer of what the problem was. So, I sent her a text asking if she had like 10 mins to spare for a phone call just so I can get feedback on what I did wrong for future references for when I date again in the future. Im just asking her just to tell me what she didn’t like about me and that Im not trying to get her back or argue with her on any of her answer. I just wanted to hear honest feedback and just improve myself. Anyways, after I texted her she did not respond to the text for 2 days which makes me feel absolute shitty because she said we can still be friends, but obviously friends don’t really text that late back, especially when she always texted back couple hours later when we were dating. I get that we aren’t dating, but if you say we are good friends still please just act like one or be honest and tell me we shouldn’t be friends. I even called her once just to see if maybe she had blocked me or just completely forgotten to text me back because I was not longer a person she cared for. Its been 4 days since then and she has not returned a call nor text back. I have not double texted her or double called her because she obviously doesn’t want to talk to me. It really hurt me knowing that I was not even worth her consideration as a “good friend”. I just wanted feedback and I would understand if she didn’t want to talk to me if we were in an actual serious relationship and if it ended bad.

From the stories she told me about her past dates and exes, I am 100% sure I treated her way better than any of them from the crazy stories she told me about them. She’s even best friends with her ex that just broke up with her with no advance warning because of his job relocation. That ex just left and told her he wanted to end it because he wanted to pursue his job and didn’t even talk to her before making the decision to leave. She treats that ex as a best friend and doesn’t even treat me as a good friend when I was doing everything during our dates to make her happy like a dumb simp.

Anyways, my friends have been trying to cheer me up and I’ve also been telling myself that she doesn’t deserve to keep me as a friend, but I know she has pressure from her family about her career, so I wanted to still be supportive if she ever needed me because all of her best friends are leaving to other countries/states for their career and she won’t have anyone close to talk to.

Things I’ve done so far to try and forget about it is looking for a different hobby, finding another girl to distract or another friend group. No luck so far.

I moved by myself to a new place so I don’t have any good friends that I can meet up with. I tried looking at meetup/eventbrite for social events but there are none near me.

All in all, I trying to figure out why I’m feeling like shit because I’ve been having trouble sleeping and staying asleep for these 2 weeks. I am getting 2-4 hrs of sleep a day and its really fucking with my mental and physical health. Am I still not over her, am I angry, am I sad, am I jealous? I probably still wished it could work but who doesn’t wish for that for the ones they liked? Please help me and sorry for all the details.

TLDR; Trying to understand why I feel this pit feeling in my chest, when I think im over a girl I was seriously dating for 4 months.