I’ve been going on a few casual dates- I let them know upfront what I’m looking for and have met several interesting people, learned new things, and had interesting conversations! Last night I was having a game night and making burgers with me and my siblings and their spouses, I invited him to stop by and grab some food and he did- he gave me a hug and he had a comforting voice.
We ended up leaning on his car and just talking for a while- it was nice and breezy out and it was just very fun and relaxing. We had a lot in common and were just cracking each other up. No weird perverted jokes or trying to flirt with me (and I really really liked that).
I felt myself warming up and laughing and wanting to be closer to him. There were a few silences but neither of us wanted to leave. I started to feel like I wanted to invite him in to hang out and asked my siblings if he could join us and they said yeah!
He came in, met everyone and things just went amazing. We played a game, everyone was laughing and having a blast and for the next several hours we all just hung out in the living room and he really hit it off with my brother and brother-in-law. It was honestly so much fun and they all seemed to like him.
I just didn’t want him to leave and it didn’t seem like he wanted to either. When I walked him out it was like 2-3 am, and we gave each other a long hug and I just felt..so good. Happy, excited, safe, comfortable, and almost a little giddy.
But in the back of my mind I’m like “oh man, it hasn’t been that long since the breakup- maybe I should have waited a few more months before going on some dates in case I met someone I really liked?? But the whole point of me casually dating was to see what else was out there and practice setting healthy boundaries and applying the things I’d been working on self-improvement wise.
My ex broke up with me twice in one year. I fought hard for him and this was our second break up (he initiated both). I still care about him as a friend and will be one of his biggest fans. But damn, it feels really good to have this kind of hope again.
I am taking it slow and being clear about where i am emotionally. He knows and is open to even being just friends if I want. I guess I was hoping for tips/advice?
Bonus: this new guy lives in the same city as me 😆
TL;DR: Met a new guy I’m excited about but afraid/guilty because breakup was only 6 weeks ago.
5 comments
If you had initiated the breakup, would you still feel bad? Or do you feel guilty because there’s still a part of you that hopes your ex will change his mind again?
So what it has been 6 weeks since your break up. There isnt the right amout of time to wait before dating again. You are single, you are not cheating on anyone GO FOR IT. I am not saying rush into this but dont lose out on a great guy because of “6ish weeks since your break up”. We dont get to choose the timing of things. You are doing nothing wrong.
I used to think that we had to heal completely alone. That idea is false. It’s new relationships, different people pushing our boundaries ect. That help us grow. Don’t feel bad. He’s a grown man, and has his own baggage. Enjoy it Girl!
You never know when you are going to meet the right person, and there is no timetable for meeting others after a breakup.
You probably already emotionally distanced yourself from your ex after the first breakup, so I guess the second breakup wasn’t all that devastating anymore. If you feel you are over your ex, don’t let him stop you from falling for someone new.