Hi everyone! First post in this subreddit but lately I’ve been struggling with some information and would like to hear other people’s opinion. My boyfriend (24M) of a little over 2 years and I (23F) have been long distance since our relationship has begun (2 hr 30 min drive). He recently got accepted for a job in FL and I live in VA. He’s most likely going to have to be down there for at least 6 months where he will receive training that will help him with his career. Ever since finding out this news, he’s been acting very distant and has been super closed off when I try to discuss anything about his upcoming move. I’m aware he’s really stressed and trying to figure everything out but him pushing away is only creating more stress. He hasn’t reached out to make plans with me at all lately and just seems uninterested. I don’t really know what to do or say to help make him less stressed. I just don’t feel prioritized these days and I am worried for the strain the move to FL will have on our relationship. Any advice?
TLDR: My boyfriend has to move for work and he’s being distant. Advice!!!
1 comment
I’ve been with my partner for about 20 years and we’ve been off/on living together and long distance due to job commitments the whole time. For now, I would give him space at the moment since he’s mentally thinking through the move, and just let him know your there to talk it out and brainstorm with him if he wants. As badly as you need to talk it out and that reassuring, he’s just not able to give it at the moment and it’s just frustrating all around trying to push it.
I suggest in the meantime you think through things you feel like you want or need while long distance. That way when you both are ready to talk it through together you won’t be starting at zero. Things like frequency of communication, what type of schedule for touching base (my partner and I text daily, and call twice a week when away). Think through ideas to stay connected like a phone game like words with friends, watching a favorite tv show or listening to an audiobook that you can both talk about. Something to connect about that’s low effort on both your parts, but more than just thinking about how your apart. Conversation long distance can get stale because you are both tired and running separately, so think through ways to keep that from happening.
It sounds like the distance won’t be permanent, so focus on that and open communication. Don’t stress, people do this all the time and as long as you both are trying, it’ll be okay.