My [22M] GF [22F] didn’t text me for 20 hours after getting drunk halfway through a party apparently her phone died. Thoughts?

32 comments

1. if she really wanted to contact you she would’ve found a way to using a friends phone to text or call 20 hours of not talking to your S/O sounds shady

2. So what don’t you buy? That her phone died? That she feels bad about not getting in touch with you? That she’s been busy? Do you think she’s lying? What do you think she’s lying about? Her phone? What she did at the party? Feeling bad? Being busy?

3. This is why you have at least one friend’s number

4. If she wanted to contact you she would have. There’s plenty of was to get in touch with someone when their phones dies. Especially if she was at a party. Phones are everywhere.

5. 20 hours means she fucked somebody

6. Unless she was in the hospital for alcohol overdose she was avoiding you.

7. So let’s break down the timeline here. At 11pm she stopped texting you because her phone died. She’s at a party, enjoying herself.

   If she was going strong at 11, then she probably kept partying until the small hours. Say, 3am.

   Then she falls into a drunken sleep. Wakes up late morning, early afternoon. Let’s say noon.

   Then she’s hungover. Puking into the toilet. That’s a good couple of hours, brings us up to 2pm.

   She probably remembered to plug her phone in around this time, and went back to bed.

   By the time her phone is charged and she’s awake again, you get early evening, which is about when she texted you.

   This all adds up to a pretty normal party experience. Why did you need her to be constantly texting you? If you wanted to hang out with her, you should have gone to the party.

8. Here’s the whacky thing about phones: you can plug them in to charge them AND talk or text at the same time. I know, crazy, right? 🙄🙄🙄

   I don’t know what she got up to at that party, but that’s the one of the stupidest, laziest excuses in the book. Next, you’ll find her Tinder profile and she’ll tell you “i gOt HaCKed!”

9. If a woman wants to cheat; they will cheat & they’ll find ways to cover it up & make excuses; etc.. if I learned anything from my last relationship it’s that maybe it’s best to just be fwb’s with them because 1 sided loyalty will literally drive you insane. Dating them & trying to trust them is going to get you emotionally attached to them & nobody likes falling in love with a woman then finding out she’s been fucking god knows who behind your back. Just my 2 cents.

10. A woman in her early 20s not having a charger or putting her phone on charger, hmm highly unlikely. Sorry but I wouldn’t buy it. But your relationship and you know her better than we do. Is that something she usually does, I mean have her phone not charged?

11. I’ve been to a ton of parties (college student here) and girls are masters at managing their battery life partying because how else are they going to stay in touch with their friends/call an Uber. Her saying that her phone died at 11 pm — yeah okay bud.

12. She couldn’t find a charger in another dude’s bed. Go with your gut. Is she not on her phone all of the time? It’s not something most people would forget these days, we’re all pretty connected to our phones. If she cared to contact you, she would have.

13. She is doing the Hokey Pokey after 11PM, they put in her they put out of her, they turn her over and done it again, that how she failed to text or call, she was hokey pokey in too much to call

14. Lol, you are being played like a piano

15. She got her back blown out at that party.

16. I think it all depends on previous behavior tendencies. My SO rarely remembers to charge their phone, let alone at a party. It has died mid conversation most times than not and uhh well, it just happens all the time, and usually I know what he’s up to.
    I’m not big at partying but when I do, I can assure you you’ll not hear from me anytime soon. We let each other have fun. And be hangover after. And sometimes you’re not aware you forgot to plug your phone until 5pm or whatever.

    So TLDR, if there wasn’t anything important to communicate about and keep a text convo going on… I don’t see what’s wrong there. But if this is unusual, better bring it up with her.

17. when i go out all night i do not text anyone the next day im in and out of sleep like all day after an all nighter and feel absolutely drained until 7pm…there’s that to keep in mind

18. I don’t get these types of relationships where you have to be texting each other all the time, even when out doing other stuff, as well as this crap about being worried for someone’s safety. She’s an adult, she can look after herself. So tired of hearing men infantilise women this way.

19. If my girlfriend went to a party – I wouldn’t expect to hear from her while at the party.

    If I didn’t hear from her the next morning – I would assume that she was hungover and would look forward to teasing her lightly about it in the evening when she did get in touch.

    I wouldn’t be jumping to conclusions that there was anything untoward or suspicious about it. The fact you do likely says more about the real issue than the scenario in itself.

20. Oh my god these responses lol Yeah she might have cheated or she might have just gotten really drunk, slept, woke up and felt like death, fell back to sleep and then finally woke up and charged her phone. People are so programmed and obsessed with phones that other people aren’t allowed to just not be available by phone 24/7. I never text my partner on a night out/weekend away because I’m having a good time and he’s never accused me of cheating because I never have. She might have cheated yeah but it’s equally as possible that she didn’t lol

21. >Should I go along with it and accept the apology

    No.

    ETA Ok i’ll add some more. Usually, when someone has lost contact with the person who is most concerned about their welfare and whereabouts, the knowledge that this person doesn’t know what’s going on will nag at the protagonist. That voice in the back of the head keeps telling them that you’ll be worried and they need to reassure you. The fact she didn’t is sus as all fucking hell, and I would consider this worthy of believing that it’s possible she was up to something. Talk to her, tell her you think her story has more holes than a Swiss cheese and you want the truth.

22. I mean for me it depends how drunk she was. Back in my college days I have totally done this when i have been very drunk. My friends have got me home, or i have crashed at a friends. I have done incredibly stupid things when drunk, so I could very much imagine not thinking to source a phone charger when my phone dies. There’s a famous case here in the UK of a guy who was so drunk he got in a bin on his way home to go to sleep and he died when the bin lorry picked up the bin emptied it and crushed him. Drunk people are stupid.

    And i have been in such hungover states the next day that I haven’t got out of bed or looked at my phone. I have just laid in bed convinced i am dying. A few times I haven’t even woken up before 5-6pm. It can happen if you really do take the intoxication levels too far. I never did it intentionally but sometimes the night just goes like that, y’know

    I even once did exactly the same thing and so my boyfriend got worried and came over ready to tell me off for my phone being off. When i opened the door having very clearly just gotten out of bed to open the door, looking like death, you could see the wind go out of his sails and he just went “Oh… are you ok?”

    The question is, do you believe she was drunk enough to not have thought of finding a charger and to not have thought to look for/at her phone all day? Or do you think she is lying? I would be inclined to think that if she hasn’t come up with some elaborate lie to hide the fact that she was doing something shady, then she’s probably telling the truth. Guilty people come up with cover stories. Stupid people who have made an honest mistake tell the truth and come across as lame/ not having a good excuse.

23. She really couldn’t contact you before 7pm the next day? If I ever blank my boyfriend, as soon as I realise, I message him and apologise and explain my phone was dead/ I didn’t get the notification or whatever. I don’t blank him for even longer because I “feel bad”

24. It seems you don’t trust her.

25. In general I really don’t think this is a big deal. 20 hours? Seriously? I mean if this is a one off and she usually texts you 24/7 then mayyybe I understand a lil suspicion, but besides that, anyone telling you that she’s definitely cheating *just* because she didn’t text you during or after a party just doesnt like or trust women in general

26. It’s a bit suspicious but that doesn’t mean she’s cheating or anything, 20 hours of no contact is normal for some couples.

    Sit her down and talk to her, let her know you were worried and if there’s anything she wants to tell you, if she’s lying you’ll probably find out, especially as she felt bad for not talking to you for that time

27. I’ve found myself sleeping 14-16hrs when I’m hungover. plus 11pm was still quite early for a party so let’s assume she stayed till 2-5am. that adds up to about 20 hours.

    maybe give her the benefit of doubt? in the end, the person who knows her best is still yourself.

28. Not saying there isn’t a possiblity that something weird did happen. But this has actually happened to me irl. My phone died by around 12. And the next day was spent mostly puking my guts out and trying to sleep off my horrifyingly bad hangover. I only remembered to charge my phone by evening.

29. Nah 20 hours is not that long and unless there are other red flags about your girl then there’s nothing you should assume. We gotta let our partners live. I’m in a LDR and we text everyday but sometimes there’s a party, I forget to charge my phone and I’m having such good fun I forget to charge it, plus I don’t like to be that person at a party who keeps staring at their phone instead of talking to people there.

    Even if it wasn’t her phone, she could’ve just said that because she felt bad for forgetting to text you. Plus drugs exist and if she’s into some then things might’ve gotten out of hand and she had such good fun she didn’t even think about texting you, went to bed late, woke up in the afternoon, had a hangover finally came to and texted you.

    My point is, the world doesn’t revolve around you as much as sometimes we think it does, not everything is cheating and trust is the foundation of a lasting relationship.
    Of course she could’ve cheated on you, but if that would be the case you will find out eventually.

30. And what she told you exactly? I mean it happened to me once, I went on party to the different city, messaged my gf, but through out my phone died, partied till morning, slept past noon and I managed to message her back late in the day. I was just either drunk and focused on partying or sleeping. I fucked up and felt guilty, but definetely didnt cheat.

31. Nah. You just don’t trust her. She may be super drunk that she felt drained the whole day and when she gained her energy back, she texted you. What important is she told you beforehand that she’ll be at a party. You should have gotten the idea that she will be out late and may be drunk. But yeah, just go ahead and accept the idea of reddit people that everything is a red flag and break up instead of talking to her. 🤷🏽‍♀️

32. Obviously something else in her excuse triggered your insecure reaction.. you’re the one who was hearing her explanation..if this was the first time I suggest you don’t put too much thought into it..just monitor her behavior for the next few weeks..if you suspect anything new.. follow your gut feelings and inquire more until you get something or find nothing.. anyway give her the benefit of the doubt.