What are the problems you tend to face in dating and relationships?

9 comments

1. [removed]

2. Ogling

3. The way my anxiety acts up when I fall for someone.

4. I don’t like people who like me, and I like people who end up liking me for the wrong reasons.

5. On my end: My codependency starts creeping in and I end up losing myself in the relationship. I forget about my wants and needs and mold them to what I think serves the relationship best. I think about and care for my partner all the time at my own expense even they don’t don’t at all ask for that??? I also get incredibly annoyed at them after a few months. I apparently don’t like to share my space. I’m a pretty good partner I think in general and I’m working on these things with my therapist.

   When it comes to my partners: They are flip floppy and immature to a certain extent. (Think dead baby jokes). They push back against getting mental health help but give in to my pushing. They don’t know what the fuck they want in life, as most of us, but don’t take the steps to get help until right before we break up or after the break up.

   Yeah I won’t be in another relationship for a while…

6. I have what’s known in the psychological literature as disorganized attachment, due to childhood trauma, so I can be really anxious toward a partner or really avoidant, depending on the situation.

7. Me, I’m the problem

8. Selective mutism makes it hard to draw and voice boundaries when it’s needed. Sometimes causes fights. Or people just lose interest because i struggle to show outward emotions and it confuses them i guess.

9. They don’t want to commit even though they tell me all the things they really like about me. They’re still holding out for someone better to come along.