What is common relationship advice that you disagree with?

49 comments

  3. Always see the other’s point of view.

    I’m sorry, but if she is mad at me because I cheated on her in a dream, I’m not going to sit there and act like I need to explain why I cheated on her in a dream.

  6. Eventually, you’ll find the perfect relationship. Nah, even the best relationships require work. No such thing as perfection.

  7. That being in a relationship is a lot of work. My best relationships have required little to no work. The ones that require work are the ones I was not a good fit for.

  8. Lazy wishful thinking disguised as advice. Stuff like “you’ll eventually find someone”, “no need to rush because there’s no time/age for love”. Either that or lazy dismissive generalizations, like “know how to take pictures, get dressed and do basic hygiene”, as if people are lecturing cavemen on relationships 101.

  14. “Happy wife, happy life”

    Fuck that rhetoric, my happiness matters too. If we are gonna have a convo about any issues you will listen and hear my grievances and be expected to alleviate them just as I’m expected to do for you. No special treatment.

  17. “Find a traditional man” while the woman is the complete opposite, then expects to be treated like a Queen while doing nothing for the relationship

  18. Lie when you’re dating, just be yourself. Why get someone to like you if you are somebody else

  19. “Follow your heart.”

    Sometimes our feelings blind us from emotional abuse, red flags, abusive behaviors, etc.

    When people show you who they are, believe them.

  22. “Don’t go to bed angry.”

    Sleeping on a problem provides cooling off time.

  23. Don’t marry the first person you date.

    I’ve met plenty of people who have married their childhood sweet hearts and it worked out for them just fine

  24. There’s someone out there for everyone

    Just be yourself

    You’ll find it when you’re not looking for it

  25. “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else”

    Absolutely shitty advice. Using someone to help get over heartbreak is just despicable.

    If both parties are informed and consenting individuals, then go right ahead. Based on what I’ve seen, however, most guys don’t care and will lead a girl on knowing full well they’re just trying to fuck to get their minds off of someone else.

  27. Let the women be right. If you dont insist on your opinion and wants the women will lose respect of you

  28. That you don’t seek love, It comes when it comes.

    I hate this statement with all of my soul. It’s just the fucking opposite. Love is build, It doesn’t exist out of how you work in improving your relationship. You have to take care of your looks, of how you treat others, on how you are going to approach the relationship, either getting money through labor or taking care of your partner that will work for both. You have to seek what you want, and that’s nice. It’s not “psychopath”. It’s knowing what kind of life you want. That’s fantastic, you prove to be reliable, responsible and strong.

  29. Avoiding conflicts at all costs.

    If anything, standing up for yourself and fighting (when the situation calls for it!) is important. Not talking it out is so toxic. If I’m being mistreated – and I don’t mean cheated on in a dream but say, my SO’s friend badmouths me and my SO says nothing – then it’s okay and important to be angry and to say something. I was constantly told “unless you do x we’ll have to break up”, like, thanks? What about your part?

    I want someone I can tell that they’re messing up, who will tell me the same, but who will ALSO not threaten to leave me if I do something wrong. For example if I try really hard to get along with your family and they fatshame me and ignore me, why is it “we’ll break up if you don’t get along with my family” and not “I’ll talk to my family that they can’t treat you like that”?

    🥲

  30. “No one’s gonna love you, if you don’t love yourself”. Yeah, I call bullshit! Love just happens. And you don’t have to have water-tight confidence for someone to be able to love you, no one is perfect.

  32. Most one liner advice is bad. It’s said more to calm friends than to fix the problem. Also any advice from tall guys or handsome guys. Its jutt bland meaningless stuff that is about as worthwhile as a girl with massive tits and an hourglass figure giving her fat friend with the face of a halloween witch, dating advice. McTits has no idea how she gets men. She has no business giving her unattractive friends advice.

    Classics are like:

    Just put yourself out there.

    Just stay positive.

    There is someone for everyone.

    You’ll find love when you’re not looking.

    One day you’re going to make someone very happy.

    Just be yourself.

    Just tell her how you feel.

  35. Sacrifice is important for a relationship to be

    This is not right, once you start sacrificing your happiness you won’t be happy and eventually you’ll become grumpy and irritating which will destroy your relationship.

  36. You should always be willing to make the sacrifices for the sake of your partner

  37. Telling people to change themselves into acting someone they’re not, the change needs to happen naturally

  40. Never go to bed angry.

    No, if your arguing isn’t going anywhere go to bed. No sense losing sleep and things always look clearer in the morning. Plus it’s helpful for hotheaded emotions to die down. It’s only unhelpful if you’re conflict avoidant and let things fester instead of addressing them in an appropriate time frame.

  41. “The wife is always right”.
    When I got married I was told “you’ll never be right in your life again”.
    My wife in particular takes offense at this but we’ve heard something similar from plenty of folks.

  43. “You need to do chores around the house in order to get your wife to have sex with you” …. I see it ALL THE TIME when a guy posts about not having enough sex with his wife. The problem with this advice is that it basically states women view sex as a reward for “good behavior” and that’s just not how women work. It’s insulting to both sexes, and lazy advice from people who have no idea what they are talking about.

  45. Not really advice (at least, I hope its not), but the whole “Happy wife, happy life” thing.

    Its toxic as fuck and undermines any hope of equality, both in the household and beyond. The ideal marriage (or any relationship), imo:

    – Both spouses are as concerned for each other’s happiness as the other one is. She is as concerned for his, as he is for hers.

    – Both spouses are able to procure their own happiness independently from each other, while providing an environment that welcomes the other party’s participation.

    – Both spouses are able to procure happiness for themselves through spending time with each other, *while engaging in activity that brings their spouse happiness*.

    Exchange pronouns where appropriate if that’s something that’s really concerning you.

    Short version – find stuff you enjoy, support your spouse in things they enjoy, and find enjoyment for yourself when you do things with your spouse that they enjoy.

  46. Talk to a therapist/counselor.

    Unless you have kids together a relationship that requires a therapist is one that’s probably not worth saving.

  47. Don’t go to sleep angry. Fuck that. Sometimes you just need to sleep it off

  48. “Happy wife, happy life” Can’t stand that phrase. I’m more then happy to provide and be a loving life partner but I hate that it doesn’t say shit about the husband and his happiness.

  49. “Men have to lead the women” and “Put her in her place”

    NO.

    If she is unable to curate a life of quality for herself, and be an active teammate where both people lead and consult each other like best friends do effortlessly – then she is FIRED. Men have to lead the women makes me think the woman is a child and I have to treat her as such too. And no way. I need an adult that knows not just how to have sex, but to be a full person who is invested in the relationship and is actvely working for that relationship to succeed. Share the power, not saddle me with all of the risk just so she can walk away without any problems. BIG NO from me.

    I have had multiple women tell me ‘You know how to put me in my place’ when frankly I was irritated with them first off for testing me, and second off for not acting like an adult in the first place. For considering that it is infantile to test your partner, and as they were all adults – the FAILURE of them to act their age.

    Both of those statements contribute to women being dramatically RISK AVERSE. If she isn’t willing to carry any of the risk of the relationship = there will be NO RELATIONSHIP.

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