Asking here for the male perspective.
I met this guy out over a week ago and we really hit it off— talking and laughing for hours with light touch and flirtation. He asked for my number and I started a conversation 2 days later.
We text consistently for a week straight, but he hasn’t asked me out. I know he has a demanding job(medical)and his responses sometimes take hours/nights. This is fine with me, but I truly cannot tell if he’s interested in me romantically. I’ve tried subtly confirming this with texts like “hoped I’d see you out” etc., but haven’t gotten assurance. Started off with nice banter and a good depth of discussion, but he got sick and after a while a lot of responses you can’t reply to.
Should I ask him out or just assume he would’ve already if he were interested?
The last text he sent ended our conversation.
[edited to add] I’m 27F with majority of experience in rejection 🙂
14 comments
Ask him out!
Shoot your shot
Is he a doctor?
Ask him out or else you might be wondering and waiting forever.
There could be a handful of reasons why a guy might not be asking someone out. Usually it’s because they are not really interested but there are some exceptions..
Like in my case, there was a girl I met at church that expressed interest in me. We did text a bit so I could get a vibe for what kind of person she is. But I ultimately decided to tone down on the texting (without ghosting because I still have to see her every Sunday) because I am moving for school across the country in 2 months. Just not a wise idea to date someone when I am beginning a new chapter in life honestly.
But… if she asked me out, I may actually reconsider honestly. Just because I’d be impressed with the courage it takes to ask someone out.
But in my case, starting school in 2 months and doing LTR isn’t something I want to do so I am holding off on dating until I move
Ask him. Guys tent to be dense and there are 100 reasons that he may have felt the time wasn’t right or questioned if you were interested. Be clear in your interest and don’t let a good guy slip away.
Just ask him out, I’m willing to bet he will be thrilled by that, guys love having a woman take the initiative and ask us out. He’s no doubt super busy and maybe just feeling out the conversation. Go for it though.
As everyone else has said…shoot your shot.
Subtle doesn’t work with men. Especially busy ones who don’t have time to dig in to the subtext of a convo.
We’ll either miss it because of reasons
or
we’ll ignore it because subtle and hints are annoying
“Hey Mr Dudely, I’m enjoying texting you but I would prefer to get together in person again. What does *suggest day/time* look like for you to *insert activity*?”
You’ll get a yes, no, or maybe.
If yes: Great!
If no: Sucky but at least you know…so…Great!
If maybe: If the response doesn’t come with an alternate time suggest then the response is “all good, we’re both busy. Let me know if you free up in the next couple of weeks, until then *insert your typical goodbye*”
> but I truly cannot tell if he’s interested in me romantically.
I’m a Dutch male (Google “Dutch directness”) but why not ask him?
“Hi ‘this guy’. I’m unsure about where this is going. I’d love to ask you out for {something}, but are you comfortable with that?”
> The last text he sent ended our conversation.
So. Don’t bother with this guy, find a better one.
>I’ve tried subtly confirming this
You are 27. Drop this immature “subtly game”, that is for dumb teenagers. If you are interested, make a move on him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR_9Yw
Go for it. I wish women in my life were more forthcoming instead of telling me decades later that they were interested in me.
Yeah, don’t ever actually talk to this guy. Ever. You should hide behind SMS and avoid real communication at all costs. God forbid, you talked to him directly. That’d be crazy. Just keep the banter light and try to read his mind, like obviously he is reading yours. Things work this way, for real.
FFS talk to him, like you talk to the strangers on Reddit. What’s the worse that could happen?
maybe head just really shy or has too much experience with rejection in the past. if u like a guy, why not ask him out?
>Asking here for the male perspective.
There’s no such thing. There are just males with perspectives.
>Should I ask him out
Yes, obviously. You know you like him, you don’t know if he likes you. The ball is in your court.
>or just assume he would’ve already if he were interested?
That’s some sexist nonsense. Be a better person.