This is all I know of the interaction. He expressed he would cut of all ties immediately, which he did (deleted her number, social media, etc.). He was very remorseful and willing to do whatever it takes to regain my trust. A few weeks later I snooped (I know this is wrong, not trying to challenge this piece) out of insecurity and despite not finding anything to do with this female, I noticed he had “freshly dated” (post previous situation) nudes saved in his hidden photos from ANOTHER female colleague. I did not find texting communication but I suppose those messages were deleted.
I’m absolutely heartbroken as I thought he was the LOML but I don’t know what to do or think.
26 comments
Say goodbye. And make sure the colleagues fiancé finds out too.
I don’t know what a LOML is.. but he clearly isn’t it. I would move on.
Its disappointing that he betrayed your trust.
I don’t know if you’re looking for advice or empathy.
Advice: Dump him
Empathy: You deserve to be treated well and with respect. No one should have to suffer the affects of betrayal.
He’s flirting with one girl and getting another girls nudes… what would you advise your best friend
It sounds like you’ve learned this wasn’t one mistake or ego-boost flirtation, but a pattern of behavior. I’m sorry, that’s the fucking worst. But I think you do know what to do when you get up to it. He’s shown you he’ll put on a show of remorse and then continue the same old shit. How can there be trust? It will drive you crazy.
He’s not remorseful of his actions, he’s just sorry he got caught. As evidenced by the nudes, the only thing he’s willing to change is how he covers his tracks. You deserve better and not having to constantly question everything while he lies and/or gaslights you.
I’m sorry to hear this. Obviously he isn’t marriage material.
Is he very good looking and a cocky person? It’s just strange how he can get attention from so many women, including engaged ones. Then again, maybe he is a trashy dude and attracts these trashy women?
You may want to rethink your relationship, since it seems being with him lowers your quality of life.
unless he’s going to quit his job, him deleting her number does nothing
If I am reading correctly he saved these nudes after the text you saw in bed. He is apologizing to you and reassuring you that he wants to fix this and regain your trust but saving nudes from a different coworker at the same time. This man does not value you, or want to regain your trust. He wants to cheat and have you too. This will not get better. He will continue these habits and you will save yourself years of heartache and self esteem issues if you walk away now. It’s going to hurt, but why wait for it to hurt even more later?
Well. I’d scratch the love of your life part and file him under a life lesson.
What you do is get a bin bag, put allll of his shit in it, and leave it outside the front of your house. Then you let him know it’s there, advise him to collect it quick as it’s bin day, and politely advise him not to contact you again because he is not a nice man. He was only sorry because he got caught. He will do it again.
Also I just wanted to let you know, Tinder now has a function where you can hide yourself from all of your contacts that are on it. I’d be unsurprised if he was on there too.
Do the obvious. Break up
My heart goes out to you… truly. I think you know what you need to do. No matter how much you want to take a chance and try to work it out, I can’t imagine you would have peace of mind after him breaking your trust. You deserve to be with someone who would never even think about going behind your back to do something so hurtful.
Also, I would definitely tell that woman’s fiancé…
Next!
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. The person I thought was the LOML was anything but. This boy is probably not yours either.
He’s remorseful because you caught him. I must be heartless but I can never stay with somebody who cheated on me. I wouldn’t even be questioning it
Well, how was the coffee?
you got the title wrong it should be EX boyfriend and let this womans fiancée know so she can be an EX too, you and this other man deserve better than a couple of filthy cheaters, let them have each other so that they can cheat on each other and possibly give each other std’s.
He’s a Chad
I can’t advise you on what you should think, but I do believe you should let this loser go.
Once was bad enough, twice proves you will never be able to trust this turd.
Drop him and ghost his lying cheating ass. He doesn’t deserve closure and the knowledge he hurt you. Let his ass suffer!
He was content and happy to be emotionally cheating on you behind your back. He only showed “remorse” when he got caught, and he still didn’t tell you about his other affair. You should let the girls fiance know what she was doing, he deserves to make his own decisions regarding his relationship. Especially if he’s about to marry her, he needs to know what she was doing.
Just trust me here, you need to dump him and move on. Cut contact and work on yourself. It is going to hurt more than you can imagine, but in the long run it is the least painful answer. I have been here with my ex-gf, this won’t be the last time.
The thing about many cheaters is that once caught, they become better at hiding it, not more faithful.
You’re better off breaking up with him and blocking him.
Please leave. The entire universe is giving you another chance by sending signals. Leave.
He took the opportunity you gave him to turn it around to become more covert, instead.
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I’d be done at that point. Wash your hands of it. Anybody that can consciously do that to their partner doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship.