So me, my boyfriend and his old crush work together in a pretty small company. In his own words, they’ve had feelings for each other. The only reason they never entered a relationship with each other is because they were never single at the same time. According to him, she still has a crush on him even though she’s in a relationship.
Meanwhile, he says that he doesn’t like her any more and in fact hates her. He’s constantly making negative remarks about her. I would like to also add that I never bring her up and have never questioned him about her so it feels odd that he hates her so much. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s pretty normal to bring her up considering we work together but this feels excessive.
I have two possible theories for this behaviour:
A) He thinks this is what I want to hear.
B) He’s in denial and still has feelings for her.
I just have a bad feeling that I’m the second option and if she was single, he’d be with her instead.
Any advice appreciated, not sure if I’m over thinking this one.
TL;DR my boyfriend constantly brings up an old ex in a negative way, unsure if this behaviour is normal.
3 comments
“Hey boyfriend, why do you keep making such hateful comments about ‘crush’?” Open up the conversation.
That does seem excessive, especially if there isn’t a motivating reason for the hate – like, they just didn’t get together because of timing isn’t “hate” territory. So he could be trying to spin the situation and overcorrecting, something else could be going on, or that’s how he deals with things that don’t work the way he likes.
It’s one thing to complain a little. Everyone does. But this much isn’t healthy.