Have had 4 great dates with a (late-20s) woman over the last six weeks or so. Judging solely on the dates / time together in person, things seem to be going flawlessly. Lots of chemistry and healthy escalation of deeper conversation, fun interactions, kissing, physical touch, you name it… there is always future talk regarding restaurants or activities we’ll have to try out together, an outfit she wants me to see, even a potential weekend trip this summer came up. Our last date left off with her saying she’s going to invite me over for a movie night at her house for our next date (to be scheduled).
That said, in between dates, something feels off… very little communication during the 1 or sometimes 2 weeks in between dates, and whenever one of us occasionally sends a picture of something or a text update, it takes her 1-2 days to reply, even when she initiates or is asking questions. It’s even more jarring when we will have an occasional rare window of back and forth rapid texting that just goes dark for 2 days. I’m fairly busy and don’t usually drop what I’m doing to text quickly but make sure I typically reply to people within a reasonable few hours or worst case by end of day before going to bed if it’s a really busy day… especially for people I prioritize in my life.
The texting / periods in between dates are reminiscent of the low quality conversations I often experience in dating with people who aren’t really interested, yet the in-person experience is the exact opposite. I see her active on Hinge where we met and I am too, as we are not exclusive, so I’m sure she could also be talking to others, but I’m able to juggle my life and dating others without leaving people on read for days… that’s just rude regardless. What gives?
3 comments
move on. She’s holding you up. I would simply no longer answer or with 4-5 days delay.Women these days text back very quickly when it matters to them. They’re always on their cell phones. So it’s not that important to her. Sry
It’s hard to say exactly why her communication isn’t consistent. I’d lean towards assuming she isn’t super interested and is playing the field. Generally people are talking to more than one person if they’re not exclusive yet, that’s what being single is about.
However, 6 dates within several weeks is starting to add up. I would ask her what she’s looking for with you and if she sees this developing more soon, ask her what she feels about being exclusive with you (if that’s what you want out of this, I assume to define things with her). You need to be direct and ask so you don’t waste more weeks. It’s been long enough in my opinion to ask so you don’t waste more time. I would continue to talk and date others, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. How she answers will say everything. Whether she reacts positively. Or if she’s vague and beats around the bush.
It sounds like you’re talking to someone with more than one device.
Is there a disparity or gap of some kind, and have you tried asking?