Hello! I’m a 24 year old guy. I like to believe I have a stable job and am thankful to be doing well. So I feel like a lot of times in life and at my work, I feel like I’m a “kid”. And everyone else is the “adult”. As if I’m a little child and the second I make a mistake or upset someone, they’re gonna yell at me or punish me. I know this isn’t true but I can’t help but think like this. How can I change my mindset? Thanks!
2 comments
1. “Adults” are faking it and relying on their lessons learned from their earlier life mistakes…ie “experience” which is again derived from…making mistakes.
2. You will screw up, make mistakes, etc some big, some small, and some that will put others in awe of your bad luck and stupidity. Be okay with this fact bc there is NO avoiding it.
3. The biggest mistake is to keep making the same mistakes and not learning from them. Those lessons from mistakes fall into theses categories a. “Man I’ll try to not do that again” b. “Man that’s an unavoidable mistake and I have no control over that” c. “Man I’ll never do that again.”
4. This one helps but take time. Write down what you’re afraid of/worries about. Put the date. Next to that write what you a. Think will happen b. Worst thing that will happen c. Best thing that can happen. In two weeks, did any id a,b, or c occur? 2 months, 6 months, a year. What you’ll find is rarely will the worst happen and you’ll find stuff happens you didn’t even think about.
Good luck but relax, your problems are going to be solved w time.
Just being aware is huge! My sense is this mindset is a holdover from childhood when upsetting caregivers really WAS a threat. Especially if there was instability or trauma. The fact that you learned to navigate this instability as a kid is a testament to your resiliency. All these years later, that kid part of your brain still kicks in, but with awareness, you can notice when it happens and remind yourself that you’re, in fact, an adult with all the agency and resources you may not have had in childhood. Meditation can be a helpful tool in strengthening your awareness in general, which may also help you see what’s happening when these situations arise (rather than immediately react).