This guy was super interested in me but i kept shutting him down because at the time we worked on the same team I also wasn’t interested in him as i thought he had character issues based off a few projects we worked together. Naturally after a while he stopped pursing me after i shut him down pretty hard. He has since left the company (not because of me). However over the past few months i’ve gotten to know more about him through the eyes of others. I’m starting to fall for him but i don’t think he’s interested in me anymore. I came to this conclusion because i followed him on ig he didn’t follow me back it’s been over two weeks so i just unfollowed him. Childish i know. Was wondering if anyone had any advice as to what i can do to win his favor again. Also am i falling for an illusion or is this infatuation? I thought about asking the mutual colleague for his contact information but she won’t give it as she’s not my biggest fan she likes him but he doesn’t like her in that way. I’ve also tried to refollow him, his page is now private and he’s left my request sitting there for about a week. He’s def active on ig. So figured a “chance encounter” would be the best way to do it.
4 comments
I would say just vocalize it to him that you’re interested. Do you have his phone number? If not, follow him again and DM him. Maybe he’s the type to not be on social media that much? Maybe he doesn’t look at his requests often? Also, I need more context on how badly you shut him down.
Move on. You don’t really like this guy. You just miss the feeling of having him chase after you all this time. The second you “get him back” you’re gonna be reminded of all the reasons you’re not into him or find new ones.
What it comes down to is you’re not attracted to him. That’s a feeling. We then make up reasons to rationalise it after the fact. So as soon as he starts “chasing” you again you’lll just lose interest again and find another reason.
Any self respecting guy would remove you out of their consideration permanently I think this is done. And to be honest if it was me, you coming back around after the fact would just tell me I dodged a bullet when you rejected me. Men who know what they are doing don’t appreciate feeling they were a second choice.
He’s done pursuing. If you want him, then you’ll have to do the hefty lifting