How do you find balance between passions and relationships?

9 comments

1. It’s a tough dilemma. You have to put your time where your priorities are. That being said, for your own health and wellbeing, it’s good to live a well rounded life. Hyper fixation in one area can lead to amazing results, but you might be happier overall if you split your time and focus on the various aspects of your wheel of health (physical, mental, socioeconomic, spiritual, all that jazz).

2. I think sometimes we need to disappear for a while and focus like you’re doing, it’s not a horrible thing. Some people crave that social side and would never give it up, I don’t see anything wrong with doing it though. You have plenty of time to socialize and make friends once you perfect your craft, but perfecting that takes a lot of focus and time.

   I sort of did a similar thing but different path and circumstances. I had a very social life before a spine injury when 3/4 of the people I knew disappeared when I couldn’t hang out and stopped drinking. I had to take a step back from socializing and focus just on exercise program and perfecting my diet. I put hours in researching and trial and error on workouts and nutrition, and this meant sometimes turning down friends. I have a few really great friends who I see every few weeks or so and text along the way, but devote majority of my time to behind the scenes work on my fitness, nutrition, and spine recovery. It has actually in a weird way been pretty great to have that time to work on me.

3. This is so hard to do. Luckily, I found a woman who lets me pursue my passions and supports it. I would say just find the right woman.

4. As long as you don’t burn any bridges you should be fine. This opportunity isn’t your future set in stone.

   Give yourself a time frame; 1 year – 5 years, whatever, and somewhat specific set of goals (in 1 [5] year[s] I want to have sold 1 [5] painting[s] – or whatever your art is and what’s realistic – met 3 [6] people I consider real friends, had sex at least 15 times, and saved up $1000 [$5000] in my savings account).

   At the end of your experiment, you can decide how content you are and proceed from there.

   If you move to this new city, is it feasible to visit and maintain your social network back home? If so, more power to ya! If not…well, my advice is to check the chance. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Staying is…well, I hate to use the word “cowardly” 😇. It’s certainly not a true artist’s vibe.

5. There is no way, except if you aim at mediocrity. Which will kill your career *and* relationships sooner or later. My advice: Focus on your dreams and forget about friendships and relationships, they are only a waste of money, time and energy anyway.

6. Since you put some time into your post, I hope you don’t mind taking some time for a less-than direct answer. If you’ve heard of the “Big Rocks parable, save your time and skip it.

   It’s a story about a university professor who goes to the front of the class and puts 5-6 big ricks into a glass jar and asks the class; “Is this jar full?” Those that answer say yes, most are not sure. Then he takes out some small pebbles and puts them into the jar. They fall into place filling the openings between the large rocks as he shakes the jar. When he asks if the jar is full, most of the class is unsure. Then he takes some sand and pours it into the jar where it fills more openings. Is the jar full yet? Then he pours his cup of coffee into the jar until is fills the last of the spaces between the rocks, pebbles and sand. He then asks, what is the point of this demonstrations? The students suggest answers having to do with mass and volume and other physical principles. He shakes his head and says: “Always take care of the big rocks first. Those are the important things in your life. The pebbles and sand are the things you need to do or that fill your spare time.” Of course one of he students asks; “What about the coffee?” The professor replies “There’s always time for coffee with a friend.”

   What are the big rocks in your life? Take care of them and the pebbles and sand will fall into place, but only you can decide. Make sure it’s a conscious decision.

   When I was a young man like you, I had my own passion in my career. It became my primary focus, although TBH part of that was because the woman I thought would be my partner decided to go her own way, so it was easier in a sense. I had friends and relationships, but work and career were my big rocks. A decade or so later, I met my wife of now 25 years and she, then our children became the big rocks, although the career remained successful.

   And I still find time for coffee with friends.

7. Form friendships with similar-minded men.

8. There will be changes. That’s simply part of life. It’s said that High School friends come and go, but college friends are forever.

   I’m not sure I totally agree, but there is some truth to that.

9. put time aside for both, if your SO can respect the time you have for your hobbies. big green flag.

   i have friday’s and saturdays as days for dates, errands, and time set aside specifically to be together. and meant for hanging out with my GF. Tuesdays and sundays i have DnD, other wise every other evening can be used for whatever.

   anything big obviously take priority.

   honestly, put an actionable plan toward the level of success you want. work at it, but don’t forget that the reasons that makes that level of success worth it.