Why do women find it gross when a unattractive guy likes her?

37 comments

  2. Same reason guys find it gross when an unattractive woman comes barreling towards them.

    For me though I try to get everyone a chance as long as you make an attempt to take care of yourself in a reasonable manner. You can’t help genetics so I think everyone gets a shot to an extent.

  3. Most the time they are very entitled and have the mentality of “all girls are the same” 🫤 it’s not we don’t find them gross is it just the entitlement

  4. I’d imagine most mature people in general wouldn’t necessarily find it “gross” and just politely decline.

  5. Because those same ugly men won’t even be friends with a woman if they don’t find her attractive. It goes both ways.

  7. It’s far more complex than that. I was talking to someone who I only saw as a friend, he was much older than me and I made it clear I wasn’t into him. He acted like my friend and I never thought about his looks because I wasn’t into him.

    He only became unattractive or ‘gross’ when he started harassing me.

  9. because if a 5/10 is hitting on her, she has to wonder if she’s really a 5/10 herself.

  10. It’s a pretty natural reaction. In a way, it’s a way of communicating to the guy that he doesn’t meet her standards.

    She also may perceive his interest in her as an insult, because it implies that he believes she is in his league, and from her perspective that’s a lower status than she sees for herself.

  11. I’d venture to say that most women don’t. What is gross though is when men can’t take a no. Happened to me just last week. He wouldn’t take a simple no or my polite explanations. I was at a bar with my friends, he came and sat next to me and asked if I wanted to dance. I politely declined. But he wouldn’t give up. First he asked why. And I said that I wasn’t interested in dancing and so on.
    “Don’t you want to dance at all or just not with me?”.

    I don’t want to dance at all, I want to sit here with my friends.

    “I don’t believe that. Don’t you like me?”

    I don’t know you..

    “Why don’t you like me? Is it my appearance? Don’t you like the way I look?”

    I’m not interested in you, no.

    *He feigns a broken heart*

    Sorry..

    “So you don’t like the way I look?”

    No, I don’t. (Now I was tired of being polite)

    “Why not!?”

    I don’t know. I’m not attracted to you and I don’t want to dance. But there are plenty of fish in the sea, I’m sure you’ll find someone else in here who will dance with you.

    “But I don’t want them, I want you. You have such a beautiful smile”

    Ok.. ehm, thanks I guess?..

    Then he kept sitting there, as if I would change my mind soon 😒

  13. Don’t hate me for this.

    They take offense because they feel like they are entitled to better. It’s a defense mechanism.

    Let me elaborate. There is a black mirror episode where people have ratings up to 5 stars. After each iteration with a person you can rate them out of 5. Most people become super shallow and refuse to even engage with anyone lover than a 3.5 because then they are viewed as also being of lower value.

    Girls are similar when it comes to men. If people see her dating a “2 star” man, then they assume she must also be a “2 star”. Therefore they only want attention and interactions with high value men (4 stars and up), so that they can be seen as high value by association.

  14. You must define *unattractive* first. Is he:

    – unhygienic
    – no sense of style
    – poorly groomed
    – poor command of whatever language he speaks
    – overall impression of dumb
    – rude approach
    – much shorter (sorry, I’m 5’10 or smth)
    – awkward, hyperanxious type

    Some of the above are related. And I said nothing about facial features, weight etc. Because I think an uglier dude who is well mannered, smart, well dressed (even casually), isnt a slob, well groomed, agreeable, confident etc — he wont disgust anyone.

  16. Preference. Gross is what it is to them. Not enough cash flow, loud and boisterous, unkempt hair, slovenly dressed, smells funny, is ugly or even acting immature. My 1st impulsive inner monologue to a straight woman dressed like a dude would be, “why you dressed like that?”

  17. Because she thinks at that point she is not as attractive as she thinks, she has unrealistic high standards or she has fallen into the trapped mindset that society has taught that you have to marry someone who is extremely attractive to get anywhere in life.

  18. She is picturing herself naked blowing him then getting mad because she liked the idea

  19. Because women have an inflated perception of their beauty.

    Almost all of them think they are a 10.

    When an unattractive man hits on her, women start to question their most valuable asset: beauty.

  20. If women put their body parts in you to produce a 9 month long intimate physical relationship with a combination of your dnas you’d probably be grossed out too. Guys will fuck a pie if it’s warm.

  23. I think people hate rejecting people. It puts the burden of responsibility on the girl to hurt the guy by saying no when his intentions are positive. So in a way it’s almost a cope, where to not feel guilty they need to be angry about it

  25. If she actually finds its gross then I would assume he’s being a creep.

  26. The same reason that guys find it “gross” when an unattractive girl comes up to you and starts trying to flirt with you. You have no physical interest, and they think that if you can look past the physical, then they’ll be someone you’ll want to date. If you, or the attractive girl, decides to date the person you originally found unattractive, then it boosts the ego/confidence of the less attractive person. If you’re not attracted to overweight, acne, bad teeth, etc, then chances are no matter what their personality may be, you’re not going to want to do anything with them, so it’s best to just push them away…leading them on is just a dick move on either side

  29. We don’t.

    Only time a woman is going to say or think it’s gross is when the guy is being a pervert or creep and being pushy.

  31. some dragon flies will play dead to avoid mating with undesirable males.

  32. Girls might react like that. Women will politely decline if they are not interested.

  33. Same reason I find it gross when an unattractive woman is hitting on me, especially in front of my sexy ass girlfriend.

    I think to myself “How actually delusional are you that you think I’m going to leave my girlfriend who is younger, hotter, nicer and more respectful for a rude disaster like yourself?”

  34. It’s an adaptation that keeps bad genetic combinations from being passed on. The female animals that got grossed out by ugly males millions of years ago wound up producing more (and more attractive) offspring over time, so that eventually became the standard for lots of species today.

  37. Have you never done this to a woman you found to be too fat or ugly?

    I mean this one cuts both ways I feel.

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