I’ve (F24) been dating my girlfriend (F22) for over 1.5 years, she is diagnosed with bipolar 2 and is on medication. Over the past 6 months I’ve started to feel like outside of what has to do with her and our relationship, she could care less. It feels very one-sided. Not so much in the “they never text or call, never ask to hangout” way but that all I am to her is the person I am in the relationship. There also is a bit of control issues as well, for example, if I go out with a friend instead of asking me thoughtful questions about my friends or our plans, she will brush it off and/or be annoyed that I’m going out with them. When she goes out with her friends I am supportive and when she returns I converse with her about how her friends are doing etc. Another way that this shows up is in household tasks and things. If I ask her to help around the house I am often met with irritation or being accused of nagging. When I bring up taking initiative and how my love languages are acts of service, she then gets upset and says that she is never good enough. Throughout the day I think about how I can support and help out those that I love when I can. The biggest red flag to me that happened is that the other night she snapped at me and I went to my room to calm down and she came and accused me of slamming the door but I did not. I am not an angry person and it really is not in my behavior patterns to do so. I would be honest if I did.
I know that part of this is my fault as I grew up with a narcissistic mom and have ptsd so can get triggered easily and have this awful response to just start crying.
We are going to counseling and I love her but I wonder if anyone here has anything that might be helpful?
TL;DR: Based on my girlfriends behavior I am not sure if she actually loves me but just the idea of our relationship.