Background, I (19f) am going to get a fairly large back tattoo at the end of the month. My coworker (21f) and I have become ok friends and she has requested to take the day off so she can go with me to get this tattoo. The main reasons she gave for going were, she wants my artist to cover up one of her tattoos after I am done, and she wants to drive me home so I am not in pain and driving. Lately she has been getting more and more on my nerves, always one upping me and trying to put me down.
I want a way to tell her that I don’t want her to go with me while being able to stay ok friends at work. Please help! I’m not the greatest with social skills so maintaining this friendship is important to me but I know it’s going to be a horrible experience if she is there with me.
7 comments
Say that you have thought about her proposal and that you find it an kind gesture. But you have decided that you like to go by yourself. But you are willing to share your experience the next time that you see her.
I hope that you find this helpful enough.
Essentially you want to say “thanks but no thanks”.
I’d say that I planned on going alone so I can listen to music etc. tell her it’s going to be a long time waiting there. Thank her for being so generous with wanting to support you. Its okay to say no. She invited herself. If it’s awkward it will pass
I hate it while getting work done and I know most tattoo artists hate it. Stay the fuck home.
When I got my most recent tattoo 1-no lookie-loos allowed in the shop bc of COVID (this was last year) 2- it was basically therapy, talking to the artist about the very personal reason I was getting that tattoo. I wouldn’t want anyone there for that reason. Even if you’re not going to talk to the artist, sometimes the pain can be experienced meditatively. Especially for a big piece. I wouldn’t want a kinda-friend there for that.
Just be honest and tell her you changed your mind and are going to go alone. Don’t tell her what the reasons are in any detail. Just “personal reasons.”
Also you don’t need a ride, it’s not that painful. Or get an Uber. Her help is not needed.
Oof that’s why befriending coworkers is a slippery slope. But honestly tell her how you feel, let her know when youre feeling put down and talk about it with lot it escalating to that level!
Or you could just tell her you’re going next weekend and go anyways 😂😂
Tell here that I understand that you want to go with me and really appreciate you accompanying me and I think that’s really nice of you as a coworker and I really wanna go there alone by myself this time. If she ask why just tell her honestly that you’re not comfortable enough with her yet or just tell her that she should not concern herself about it as it is a personal thing.
You need to be assertive and you need to use the ‘and’ word instead of ‘but’. [You might find this link useful](https://youtu.be/SZynhvBShqU)