I (almost 22F) have been talking to a guy (30M) for around 8 months online after he DMd me. We live a few states apart or around a 12 hour drive away. He almost came to visit this winter but backed out due to weather, which may have been legit. It was probably for the best at that time but he has never made a huge effort to move things forward again. We have great conversations and are like best friends. I feel really comfortable around him and we have a lot of shared hobbies. However, I do sense lazy vibes on his end just a little bit. He likes to fantasize about the future. Marriage, kids, all that. We have discussed it a lot. We text everyday, throughout the day. I have seen his social media accounts and that of his family so I know he’s a real person. However, his calls have reduced a lot since we started talking and he usually only calls me when he’s in a flirty/sexual mood.
I haven’t been able to gauge where this relationship is going and he’s usually vague if I try to nail down specific dates for a visit or getting serious. He claims that he really wants something long term, however, he’s 30 and still doesn’t have that and it makes me wonder if he is just lazy or has commitment issues. I know he’s stable in his job and has his own home. A few of my friends have suggested he may be in a relationship and talking to me on the side but I haven’t been able to figure this out because he does keep a low profile online.
I really have gained feelings for him, and this has made it hard for me to pursue other people because I’m so hopeful of us working out with time. I started getting involved with a young adults community group and there’s many single, available men there who I’m sure are long term people. There’s a guy there that I have a crush on and I don’t know what I’d do if things ever worked out with him or someone like him. I’m so hung up on my situation-ship that I’m blocking off the possibility of being with another man. I don’t want to let this friendship go but maybe we could just keep it platonic if I ended up in a relationship. However, I’d feel that is disrespectful to a man I may date in the future since we have been so flirty.
What should I do?