So I have been dating this guy for approx 7 months. We met at work, really hit it off. Met his family who I absolutely adore and get along with great, and he has yet to meet mine (back story: my fam is very protective of me after going through a very abusive relationship. Also, I want to make sure I am making the right decision, etc.)
Anyways, we went away for a weekend to a comic convention and I introduced him to my friends and family (Sidenote: we are all HUGE nerds.) One night, we all went for dinner and we were introduced to a female friend of my cousin’s – she seemed cordial at first, but took a real shining to my sig. other. At the time, my sig. other was looking for work and she brought up the fact that the company she works for is hiring and that he should send his resume to her. I did not think anything of it and encouraged it — shortly as we were eating dinner, I noticed that her mannerisms changed as the conversation topics shifted throughout the evening: questions and comments such as “How long have you and so-and-so been together?” “Where did you two meet?” “You two are an amazing pair!” — I caught this woman rolling her eyes, picking at her food, etc. However, she would be quick to ask him questions, lean in when my sig. other was speaking, as well as make little advances to “help” him: reaching over and rolling up his sleeve when he’s eating, offering him napkins, etc.
Fast forward: he sent her his resume and three days later the interview.
Fast forward again, a second interview.
Finally, the job offering. To my surprise, it was for an Assist. Branch Manager! I was over the moon for him; however, I had a real sketchy feeling over how “quickly” the decision was made. Not trying to roast my sig. other — but the responsibilities and qualifications of said position was a tad outside his resume descriptions, but I had a funny feeling that a certain someone pushed him right up there. On top of that, they have been messaging back and forth about work stuff, but I personally do not think it’s appropriate around midnight/1am.
I have already addressed my concerns to my sig. other, and he tells me all the time that “\[I’m\] his priority”/ “There is nothing for you to be feel jealous about in regards to her” / “She’s just a friend”… yada yada yada…
What really takes the cake: after spending the whole day with my sig. other – going to the gym together, taking our pups to the dog park, having dinner with his family, and I treated them all to ice cream afterwards. After a wonderful day, we spent some quality time together only for me to find out the next morning that she messages him around midnight/1am abut work: that she “could not in good conscience offer this position to someone she knows personally” and that she “would discuss what she found out when they meet up for dinner/ other group outings, etc.” Yet I know 100% that he was still awake while I was driving home from his place — yet, he didn’t tell me till now!?
TL;DR: new female friend does not understand boundaries. Keeps messaging my sig. other and he is so nonchalant about it, brushing it off as “that’s what friends do”.
It makes no sense. Please someone help me uncrumple this piece of paper which is my a byproduct of my brain and heart going at it on the floor.
1 comment
It’s irrational thinking to be honest is what I see unless he’s a greaseball. It all comes down to how he reacts to someone coming on to him does he desire alot of socialattention or take alot of selfies in a way that draws the wrong attention does he have a history of cheating or not has he chose to be single for long periods of time or has a fling the week or two after. All thought I look at when I’m dealing with that situation