So my(27m) gf(24f) just graduated grad school. She had this classmate who was a sometimes study buddy. However he asked her out last December which she obviously turned down. I picked her up a few weeks ago from a study session and met the guy. He still has a massive crush on her. And he looked pissed I was there. Now he keeps reaching out asking to hang out and it’s making me a bit uncomfortable. I trust her and she said she doesn’t want to hang out with him but also doesn’t want to just cut him off. How should I handle this? I don’t want to come off as insecure because I trust her. But it’s really becoming uncomfortable.
TL:DR GF’s friend has huge crush
2 comments
Just invite yourself to the hangout sesh and while you’re all together be SUUPER affectionate with your GF…guaranteed to rip his heart out
Ah mate I dealt with similar on so many occasions, one of my exes had a few dudes trying to pursue her eventually she asked me to deal with it and I was just brutal and honest with them.
This dude would call her every night religiously to the point she was eyerolling and handed me the phone and said can you please make this guy stop calling me? He never called back ever.
She had other dudes try all manner of dumbshit, like some dude giving her a girls magazine with a the dumbest love letter I have ever read in it or lol this other guy who was like she has something of mine from five years ago and now it is important (it was a t shirt pmsl, which she had thrown out).
Dudes like this will try ANYTHING, they’ll try and bend reality gaslight and lie their way through you and or her to try and get their way and it’s hysterically funny when you stand aside and think about how obviously bad the bullshit they’re selling smells. Sometimes just drawing that into perspective can make people realise that they aren’t going to succeed.
I suggest she makes simple clear boundaries
Removing ambiguity or possibility for a message to be mixed is the goal here
– Ensuring any reason to catch up has a reason tied to it and if it doesn’t she simply declines the invitation as it makes a clear message. If she shows up and his reason was a lie she should leave immediately
– if he cannot accept this then his ulterior motives are quite clear and at that point she should probably cut ties as being around someone like that is bad news
– If he still pursues you will need to step up and tell him to fuck off
(If you want to be kind with it just ask him why he wants to be with someone who wants to be with someone else? She made her choice in partner.)
– if he can’t get the hint at that point involve police, restraining orders and anything else you need to do to ensure he isn’t a danger to himself or others.
It always blows my mind how patently stupid these limerant dudes who are in love with the idea of being in love with someone they don’t know, and has a partner already its like…
What kind of lunatic drugs are they snorting eh?
Like what is more is why the hell would you ever want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you?
There’s a word for that… captivity big oof!!
Anyhow hope this made you laugh if it didn’t give you a new idea to try!