We’ve been friends for just under a year and spend a lot of time together, both in person with others, alone and texting/calling a lot.
He’s not over his ex and is well aware that he’s not in a good place to start a new relationship. He was feeling particularly low about his ex recently and he called me to talk it through (this is normal for us). He ended up at mine and we cuddled (quite intimately) for several hours.
He then kissed me for what felt like several minutes on this lips, whilst lying together on the sofa, very wrapped up with each other.
Afterwards, we were both a bit in shock and he said that we should forget it happened as neither of us are ready for a relationship and we shouldn’t ruin our friendship (I don’t disagree with this at all).
However, since the kiss, we have gone completely back to normal where he’ll flirt with girls in front of me or tell me when he thinks a girl is attractive or talk about girls to me. It’s as though nothing happened. Since we kissed, this has been really affecting me.
Was him kissing me probably just due to us being cuddled up and close and he got caught up? Is it possible that it was completely a mistake and he doesn’t feel anything for me at all?
Or does there have to be some level of attraction for the kissing/cuddling to have happened? If so, why does he keep talking to me about girls, and fully flirting with them in front of me, seemingly thinking it won’t bother me at all.
I want to talk to him about this but not if it was a complete misunderstanding and he doesn’t feel anything for me at all other than friendship as I think this would ruin our friendship.
2 comments
It’s so wrong but it’s also so right at the same time. You know the connection is there. The only problem is after the emotional high and you guys hook up, how long do you really think this guy would stay with you?
Side note – he is talking to you about other girls as a defense mechanism to let you know he’s backing off. It doesn’t change the fact that he’s into you and wants you sexually and emotionally – there’s already the friendship groundwork there so the hard part is over.
It doesn’t matter why or how it happened, he told you he wants it to stop. He does not want it to continue and he is making it very clear that he is putting up that friend zone boundary by going back to “old times”. Let it go.