So I’ve known this girl – M, for a few months now. We met through a mutual friend, and progressively spent more and more time together. For the past 3 months we either hung out, voice called or played video games online with each other nearly every day. M has given me signs of interest, and we’ve both said flirty and affectionate things, but neither of us made a proper move yet. We are both pretty introverted and seemed happy to just go at our own pace and enjoy each other’s company for now.
Anyway, two Fridays back, mutual friend made a mean comment about her, which made her want space in general for a day or two. Mutual friend has continuously caused issues by getting jealous and possessive of her, and this was another example of him causing problems.
Nevertheless, after not hearing from her for a couple of days, she reached out. She randomly told me she wanted to have a talk. She said “I was wondering if you would like to talk. It’s nothing bad don’t worry. I’m really busy this week, but maybe sometime next week? I just have some things I wanted to tell you”. I told her sure and to let me know whenever suited her.
Didn’t hear from her for the next 3 days before she randomly messaged me on Saturday with a “miss you” emoji sticker of herself and her saying “I really miss talking to you”. I told her I miss her a lot too and sent her a “miss you” emoji sticker of me back which she heart reacted. We exchanged a few messages after that laughing at some of the messenger stickers and that was it.
Anyway, the new week came today and I heard nothing, and I’m just feeling confused about this in general. I told a friend about the situation, and she personally thinks that M is going to confess having feelings to me. She said that M saying that she wanted to talk but mentioning that it’s ‘not anything bad’ means it’s probably feelings related.
I personally took what my friend told me with a pinch of salt. I don’t personally see her confessing feelings for me and if anything I’m more worried about her fading out completely considering she’s somehow been busy for a good 8-9 days now without any free time. My friend said that’s probably because M is preparing herself mentally for the talk where she’ll confess, while I personally just see it as her not really wanting to spend time with me.
Either way it has me confused and it feels like this talk will be one extreme or the other. Either she’s using it as an excuse and doesn’t feel like spending time with me, or she really is lining up a potentially important talk. It also makes me question the validity of her “I miss you” messages and if that was just for attention. Either way, spending so little time together is out of character for her and I was wondering what other people’s opinions here are. Could it be an important talk, or does it seem like I’m just being faded out on?
3 comments
M is probably quiet because the upcoming talk will be a difficult one. Having a real, honest discussion of these sorts of things is difficult for anyone though I think it is probably much more challenging for introverted people.
Also, the negative comments may have bothered M much more than you realized so M needed some time and distance to process that so the negativity does not color the upcoming discussion.
M may also need some time and distance so the discussion is not an overly emotional or emotionally exhausting experience.
My personal insight is that your connection with M is real and that such things are usually mutual. Being introverts, though, can make any conflict resolution a bit more difficult to achieve. And it almost goes without saying that most introverts, IMO, have a few anxiety issues and insecurities.
You might want to, perhaps, every other day or so, send M a meme that you think M would like. Just message and say something like, “When I saw this, I thought of you.”
Hope this helps.
I think it is possible that you may be overthinking some of this.
Try to relax and not worry too much, please.
I think that you may be worrying a bit too much about the timeline and having anxiety about disconnecting.