My best friend [27F] doesn’t want to be friends anymore with me [25F] after getting into a relationship
My best friend and I have been close for a year. We’ve talked every single day for a long time. I helped her get through a tough breakup and I was there for her the entire time. We had a history of being flirty sometimes and we have hooked up in the past, before she got into a relationship.
About a month ago, she got in a relationship with someone. She asked to just be friends and I agreed to support her and be there for her and we said we didn’t want to lose eachother as best friends. Our past was in the past and we both agreed to leave it there.
Everything was normal and we were back to being just friends. I heard about her relationship and was happy for her happiness. The other day, she texted me saying that she doesn’t want to be friends anymore out of respect for her new relationship because she’s happy and doesn’t want to do anything to risk it.
I’m honestly upset and blindsided considering her boyfriend has jealousy issues (got upset when she shared a bed with our friend without telling him) and has been showing red flags. I can’t say this to her but I told her that it makes me upset that she is throwing away a good friendship for her relationship and that I thought we agreed that we wanted eachother in our lives for a long time. I am also going through a hard time in my life and have opened up to her about being suicidal recently and I feel abandoned and betrayed that I helped her through a dark time and now I’m being left in the dust when I’m struggling. Many people are friends with their exes and I thought we could be mature about it and not bring it up.
What should I do? How do I cope with this loss?
TL;DR: My best friend got in a new relationship and doesn’t want to be friends anymore. We hooked up in the past but were able to move past it.
2 comments
How to handle this? Reach out to other friends or family members to lean on and understand that while you don’t need to agree with it, sometimes people don’t want to stay in your life. It sucks, I’ve had that recently too. I even work with her and see her at a bar I frequent. But you can’t help how others feel. You can only respect their wishes.
Hey, I feel you. This happened to me last year too, her bf was controlling and became physically abusive. He despised me because of us hooking up in the past to the point where him and his goons damaged my property. She got back in touch after he went to jail. I slowly let her back in and guess what, she did it again with another pos. And got in touch after that went tits up 🙄
We hang out occasionally but honestly it’ll never be the same because I don’t trust her and I know that I’m expendable in her life. It sucks and it hurt a lot, especially the first time, but it is what it is and I can’t force her to value the friendship to the same extent I did. It helped to get more involved with other friends and with work, and I left her number unblocked incase she really needed someone (awful AWFUL taste in men), but took her off my socials so I wasn’t constantly reminded of it all.
Goodluck and you are worth having friends who value you back!