Ofc this isn’t all men.
my guy friend made a joke about it so I was like ‘what about your girlfriend?’ And he goes ‘what about her?’ And all my other guy friends who were there just laughed at his joke agreed with him like it was completely normal so I’m just wondering, do a lot of men continue to watch porn when they have girlfriends? This is so disrespectful, in my opinion.
EDIT:
This has blown up a lot so let me specify a few things. I am not a controlling person. I would never expect anyone to stop watching porn against their will to please me – this is toxic behaviour. I would want to have this discussion early on and decide if our values on the subject misaligned. Discussion of boundaries is key and a lot of the comments on here misunderstand my point. I’m not suggesting men who watch porn in relationships are bad partners, I’m merely curious about the thought process that goes into this. I posted on Reddit because obviously you get access to an international group of people which would allow me a better rounded judgment than one solely based off one of my guy friends. So I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions about my queries.
25 comments
Why? I have my wife join me once in a while and watch together to find some ideas. Can be an addition to.
I have a wife and we both watch porn.
Definitely not when we y’all run errands hehe *laughs nervously*
If she didn’t want me to watch porn, she’d be intimate more often…
Yes, it’s normal and there is nothing wrong with it as long as they’re not addicted to it. It’s actually disrespectful when women try to control the sexuality of their partners. And a dead giveaway that such women are incapable of love.
Men using porn is a lot like women using dildos. It has nothing to do with the partner, and it’s usually just a tool to masturbate faster. Everyone’s in a rush these days, gotta get those orgasms in.
A lot of men watch it and consider it too controlling if their partner expects them to stop
I watch porn, my gf knows I do, she watches too and I know she does. It’s not a big deal in our relationship it works for us just fine.
Pretty common.
Well how else am I supposed to see a naked woman?
So one time I forgot my phone was connected to the blue tooth house speakers and decided to rub one out to a little porn hub in the bathroom and it was playing throughout the upstairs and downstairs the entire time. She was pretty pissed
Common
Almost daily. And my gf knows about
Do you read books, story’s of any kind?
Why don’t you ask your partner to tell you story’s instead?
Do you watch movies or TV shows? Why don’t you ask your partner to describe it to you instead?
You’re going to censor what some one can and can’t watch based on your needs and not theirs? That’s pretty controlling and insecure.
Do you have fantasies and desires? Well not everyone is into the same things, there’s stuff that when you’re feeling that desire, and your partner isn’t into it, porn is the go to for scratching that itch.
If they’re turning to porn more often than you, then maybe that’s a problem that needs to be addressed.
Also, let me try this analogy too:
If you have the most delicious steak in the world for dinner every night, it doesn’t become less delicious, or taste bad the more you eat it, but after a while, no matter how much you love steak, no matter how devoted to it you are, you want to taste something different once in a while, it makes you appreciate that steak so much more when you have it again!
In a similar vein, watching some porn just scratches an itch, but the real thing should always be more enjoyable and satisfying. Looking at something else isn’t a sin or weak-willed, it’s life. Getting your appetite still makes you hungry, just make sure they come home to eat.
My question is why do you even know about it? Unless he’s announcing that he’s going to watch porn I’d assume it’s something he does in private and that shouldn’t affect you. Unless it’s taking time away from you or causing issues with your sex life, why even think about it? I assume my SO watches porn but he doesn’t tell me about it so it affects me in no way.
its as common as women using vibrators..
whats disrepectful is using this argument to be an emotional terrorist in a relationship
“women using toys is ok as men are trash in bed.. however men can’t watch porn because it’s degrading and emotionally abusive.”
“women: why masturbate when you have me?
also women when you initiate: 20 min story that leads to “leave me alone”
men: ok i’ll go rub one out
women: no, wait.. that’s illegal, it’ll hurt my feelings.”
[you can’t have it both ways lol](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyPbLqK1un4)
Men and women watch porn. Doesn’t have to be that big of a deal. It’s unrealistic to think that two peoples’ sex drives will match perfectly and they both will be in the mood everytime the other one is simply because they’re in a relationship. Regardless wether it’s porn (videos), sex toys or erotic novels, no one can/should control their partner’s sexuality. In a perfect world they’d embrace it together and always be in the mood and ready to please their partner, but that’s not the case for most 😅 As long as my boyfriend doesn’t prefer watching porn over being with me, I don’t see the issue if he watches it when I’m not there.
I watch porn to speed up masturbation. It helps to have a visual stimulus.
My girlfriend and I have sex *maybe* 1 time per month if I’m lucky and I am a very horny man.
I’m always most attracted to her, and in fact in porn I gravitate towards actresses that remind me of her in certain ways.
She is not a fan of sending nudes. She does it occasionally if she feels like it but if I asked she would feel pressured which I think is fair enough.
Your situation and feelings are yours, but I think it’s a little bit unfair to say men who watch porn think the women in that porn are better than their partners.
And dare I say it, I kinda get vibes of insecurity from you thinking so.
It definitely is now, it’s hard to find a man who only wants you. It’s like men are brainwashed that they aren’t allowed to only want one woman or they think we are controlling bc we all aren’t the same. I have left a few relationships bc I’m not cool with porn in relationships so I’ll leave before telling a man not to do anything. I’d rather be alone than be with a man that I’m not enough for.
I watch porn in relationship, I’ll notice if I start watching more porn it’s because there isn’t enough intimacy or sec in the relationship for me and I’m filling it with more porn. So yeah…
most men do and lie about it
I sure do
Oh boy lol. How old are you? Based on this post you are 21 and younger.
I’ve never stopped in any relationship I’ve been in, and I think that if I were with someone who asked me to, we might have incompatible views on healthy sexual behaviors.
Very very common, but I get the sense you more want the why, not just the answer, so….
It’s not a disrespect thing. In fact, I’d argue the opposite, and it holds them in a higher regard. Your “what about your girlfriend” question is fine, but what about her? Maybe she’s tired, doesn’t have the same sex drive, is busy, they aren’t living together or she is out, any of a million reasons why she would say no when he is in the mood. The fact that I’m horny right now shouldn’t be her situation to deal with, so I may ask, but in the end, I handle it. It’s the fact that people may not have totally synced up sex drives and each party has a way to handle it on their own, and don’t force the other, guilt them into it, or step outside of the relationship to get it. That is the utmost respect. It’s only disrespectful if you can no longer perform when you are synced up because of the porn.
Unless you’re prepared to never turn down his sexual requests, yes he will and has every right to do what he needs. That can become a problem if it’s replacing your intimacy, but you simply getting jealous and assuming he’s disrespecting you is going to be hard for your future relationships. Be available, or live in the reality that there’s a computer that won’t say no. That may undermine your power but it’s not yours to control. Monogamy doesn’t give you the power to force abstinence.