Cross posted originally from /depression so there’s a little extra info… but it still works with my concerns
I dont have thoughts about anything, anyone, I cannot conversate because my brain does not care enough to even think of sentences to say. I’m not going through life right now like an emotionless drone or anything but I seriously have nothing.m to think about. And I do a lot. I will do something with interactions w/ people for hours straight and have not one thought about it after wards. All My Brain wants to do is look at my phone, no not want, NEEDS. 24/7. Anything else is stupid and like why tf. Tv does t entertain games dont entertain I have no motivation to clean and stuff.
But when I do force myself to clean, I’ll set up something on tv and try to ugu it as enjoyable as possible like I’m a normal functioning human. But I am self aware the whole time (like I am 24/7 literally). And I dont care and just need to look at my phone mindlessly. and I dont enjoy my phone. I dont laugh at tiktoks or anything I barely find anything funny.
Back when I was in highschool I used to get “special interests” with things where I would get OBSESSED with it (tv shows, movies, actors, games, anything really) and just think about it creatively all day!!! I had an amazing thoughtful brain and the thoughts would flow non stop unwarranted. I didn’t need to intentionally think about these interests, like I do with anything I do now.
I hate who I have become.
In highschool, I was sooo outgoing. Too outgoing. I would mess with people and be silly and super weird and have an urge to talk to random people and be funny. It’s completely gone. I’m not scared, I dont feel awkwardness per say, like I could go up to someone if I needed to/wanted. But I dont want to. And if I did, I would never have anything to say.
I need help I need to fix myself
5 comments
I share some similarities and to try and fix that I’ve consciously started reading more. I usually procrastinate but once I start reading I always realize how much I enjoy and how much it kicks my brain into overdrive. Scrolling through my phone or watching videos is a mindless thing for me for some reason I can’t comprehend and retain information as well when I get it through a screen. I would try getting a book you’re interested in and going for walks for me that’s helped activate my brain
At the beginning you said you preferred to look at your phone.. have you tried leaving it behind/in the car? It’ll take a long while to reset but if you think the phone could be contributing then you’re probably right. Heck, down grade to an old fashioned flip phone if you had to, solely to take with you.
Then, tell yourself you’ll do ONE thing for 15 minutes and then take a break. If you end up doing that thing for longer, that’s great!
And as a final exercise, maybe get a journal and do a POW-WOW, where you reflect on the day and write down a POW or the bad thing for the day then the WOW, the best thing that happened that day. I also then like to write at least three things I’m grateful for that day. You could write three of the most memorable moments, or three accomplishments, whatever you prefer.
I think just trying out these ideas all together might help you better find and track your feelings, mood, and factors in a day, and help with memory/creative thinking.
I hope this helps.
Had similar issues when i was between the ages of 16-20 but after addressing some major personality issues such as confidence and self loathing i eventually started getting interested in things a bit again
This problem you will not solve on Reddit or any of us could give you solution in few sentences or posts… You are addicted and you should go to clinic, to see therapist and take medications… The thing is that from what you say, your brain is in disbalance and your body doesn’t produce serotonin, dopamin(hormons who are responsible for all our moods, especially happines, euphoria, emotions..) And you should even check the levels of cortisol and gama receptors(gamma aminobutyric acid…) Disbalance in all the basic mood, euphoria, even stress hormons(it seems that you do not fell stress about anything) explains sll what you say… And of course you addiction to phone… You should go to serious therapist, and take right medication(and solve addiction) if you want to be “functional” and to have feelings, thoughts etc… From this advice on social networks, you wont be better for sure…
I know I felt similar before, but it was more like I had so much shit going on in my head that i couldn’t think about the external world. Could that be what’s happening? It was hard to identify because so much was up there it was just like a cloud of thoughts that I couldn’t pick any particular thought out of but it inhibited my other thoughts.