I (27F) started seeing a guy (37M) casually 4 years back. Although a FWB situation, we were exclusive. Over the duration of our relationship, we used to meet up 1-2 times a month to spend time and catch up. Both of us lead very busy lives that involve travel and hence, this arrangement fitted us really well.
Along the way, both of us developed feelings for the other. Given different priorities, he did not see a life together with me. However, I started feeling like wanting to be with someone who is more present and for whom I am a priority as well.
Having this in mind, I had a conversation with him for ending things. I was feeling anxious and sad about what I had to do so I ended up jumping the gun and having this conversation on text, which did not go well. And I ended up hurting feelings and not treating him the way I should have.
He is one of the best things that has happened to me and I genuinely care about him. It just wasn’t working out for us as a couple but I would still like to be connected with him (not regular correspondence but no bitterness either).
I am meeting him this weekend after a month of almost no contact. How should I apologise and ensure we part on good terms?
TL;DR – I (27F) broke up with my FWB/lover (37M) on text, using careless words, after 4 years exclusively together. I was selfish and ended up hurting feelings which could have been easily avoided. He is one of the best things that has happened to me. How should I apologise and ensure we part on good terms?
2 comments
Well, it wasn’t a breakup since you weren’t dating. It was just sex a few times a month.
So what exactly do you hope to gain from meeting up again?
There is nothing wrong with wanting more out of your relationships, and setting boundaries in place with people who can’t give you what you need. I think you are being too harsh on yourself here. Why do you feel the need to apologize? Why do you think he is upset? He’s already made it clear he doesn’t want to commit to you.