This only bothers me because I live in a super white area and only meet white women. I had no problem dating before I moved to a super white area. I will say I’ve gotten laid more than ever before which is cool, but relationships are impossible. I’d love to meet a black woman but there literally are none. White women are up for a hook up, but they never are interested in dating. Has anyone experienced something similar? I’m thinking of moving lol
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I do believe this is a common occurrence for many black men. It’s the whole fetishism/kink deal, I’ve seen many black men and women bring up this issue online, so you’re def not alone.
Honestly, expanding your uh “search area” would probably help. Check out more diverse communities.
Did you ever talk with them why they didn’t want to continue? Is the culture over there more “uptight” and conservative than in other areas?
Also, do you genuinely wish to date a white woman?
Sometimes as a woman you can sense that the guy is not 100 % into you (despite liking the physical benefits he gets), and that can make you very insecure.
It can be as little as not seeming super interested in things that are close to her heart.
Look at the bright side. Every single one of those women’s future partners will never feel like they’re satisfying her as much as you did.
Seriously though, you’re just being exploited as a sex novelty. You deserve better.
Yeah white women fetishize black men heavily. If it’s a predominantly white area you can probably assume that some of their parents/families don’t have the best opinions of non-whites. They’re probably getting a rush out of being with you for that reason.
Where are you looking? Have you tried pursuing any social hobbies since you moved there?
/r/dating_advice
Could be worse. Last time I lived in a super white area, white women wouldn’t even sleep with me. I just moved to a more diverse area and things got much better.
Just keep smashing as many as you can and eventually 1) you’ll find one who wants to settle down or 2) just move if it looks like (1) won’t happen. Either way, you have lots of sex, and that’s fun.
How are you meeting women? Maybe try meeting women more through a hobby group/meetup or something and less via tinder/bars?
Sorry to hear that , that’s messed up they think that way.
They fetishizing the bbc?
I’m sorry that sucks. I would move…I don’t think I would stay, if there was any other option. I dont think i could live somewhere I was that much of a minority in the community. I prefer to live somewhere with a bit more mixed culture.
My area is pretty similar, with a Black population that’s been declining for decades now. I’ve noticed most non-Black women don’t seem too interested in getting passed a hookup. If they say they’re interested in Black guys, they’re mostly interested in BBC and not the guy attached to it. Pretty sure I’m moving next year and this is a major part of it.
Are you asking for dates or just accepting crumbs?
Your body, your rules.
I have no experience with anything like this, but can’t you just wait a few dates before sleeping with them? That way you could actually build towards a relationship and at the very least you filter out the fetishists that don’t have the desire to go through that many dates fro some duck. Of course, you would have to advertise this in the first place.
Honestly I’m curious where you’re at lol. But man, as a white male I have the same issue with white women. Women are different animals now-a-days. A lot I mean a LOT of them don’t wanna commit to anyone, that’s a fact.
Where is this super white area?
I think people, especially white people, tend to fetishize other races more. As an Asian I’ve experienced this, but probably not to the same extreme degree you have. You might have to travel to date, or look online and broaden the search radius. It’s tough to live somewhere without many compatible people.
It’s fetishism. They hypersexualize black men but don’t think ur good enough to marry. I experience the same thing as a mixed black woman living in a white country. Non-black men approach me for sex all the time, but I figure out quick what their intention is. So I definitely don’t let that happen. I would suggest the same for you. There are definitely white women who don’t act like that, you just have to weed them out. If they sexualize you straight of the bat talking about ur «chocolate» skin or alluding to a BBC. It’s clear what they want from you. A good telling is also if they have no problem being seen with you in public, some are afraid of people finding out/family seeing them. So then they will usually be discreet meeting you.
I’d suggest not looking in the obvious, hookups are great but if your looking for a genuine person look where you don’t expect it, grocery store, mutual hobbies etc.
Dang sorry to hear that. Have you tried meetups relating to hobbies/learning new skills? I am sure there are women in your area that would love to have a serious relationship with you.
Hey maybe it’s a good thing?
What age bracket we talking about? Cuz it could be the age and not the fact that they are white and you are black. White guy here and when I was in early 20’s yeah girls just wanted to fuck and have fun, not be tied down. Hard to find a girl that wanted a relationship. Also where are you meeting these women? If its the bar, not a good place to find a women that wants to date. But if they’re in later part of their 20’s and your meeting them at church on sunday, don’t have an answer for you.
Trust me it ain’t just white girls that do this . I’ve been on dates with girls from alot of different races and they only want to hook up but they never want you to meet their friends or meet yours . Always want to do some weird porno shit . It was kinda cool in college because hey who doesn’t want nsa sex but it’s so weird what makes white guys so much better to date than us?
So ….don’t just sleep with them? Insist on actually dating first, getting to know them, before jumping into bed. It’s a good way to weed out the ones only interested in sex.
I’m sorry you are dealing with that. Fetishes really are sucky.
Try meeting women in other ways like hobbies or something where they can get to know you. You don’t have to have sex with them. You can say no if it upsets you ( or for any reason).
As a white woman engaged to a black man I can promise you we aren’t all like this. Some people just suck.