My friend dipped after he came in his pants before we were about to have sex. I think he was just nervous because he was about to have his first time. But he just left without warning after saying sorry. He hasn’t texted or called me since and I feel like he’s gonna ignore me for a really long time because he might have thought I was making fun of him. I just couldn’t understand how it could happen and I thought he was joking around at first. I know it’s gonna be really awkward if he does stop ignoring me anytime soon.
Is it even worth trying to have sex with him again? How am I supposed to deal with the awkwardness now and if it happens again? How do I comfort him that it’s okay?
25 comments
Offer some grace. That poor dude was so horned up I’m sure he was extremely embarrassed. If you care for him, it’ll get better.
Speak to him normally, dont start introducing the topic right away. Once you’re talking say something like “ey btw dont worry about the other day, I really dont care and I really want to try again!” or something in those lines
He’s embarrassed. He may think you have a negative opinion of him after it happened. You just have to acknowledge his feelings but tell him you still value his friendship and want to have sex with him.
He was probably just embarrassed, you should definitely reach out to him and let him know you want to try again! You might have to take the initiative there
ask him to meet and control the situation. if you still want to have sex with him then once it’s just two of you -if you’re confident enough- just start kissing him and grab his dick. it’ll give him extra confidence thinking that you want his dick so bad. if he cums fast again then clean up and start give him soft bj (just licking or do it slowly, cos it can be pretty sensitive).
and tell him “i wanna see how many times i can make you cum today.” just be confident and in control.
>Is it even worth trying to have sex with him again?
Why wouldn’t it be? Sex does not require an erect penis. Or any penis for that matter. I’m sure you can have a great time together even if he comes quickly the next time, too.
If you laughed at him, it’s over. Might as well find some new friends.
Just shoot him a message and let him know that he doesn’t need to feel embarrassed and that it happens. Also, if laughed at him or made a slight at him then apologize.
Something to the effect of
> Hey about the other day I just wanted to let you know that I wasn’t intending to make you feel embarrassed or humiliated. I was just surprised as I wasn’t aware that it is that easy for a guy to cum so quickly. I would really like to see you again soon.
If it happens again then there’s still other things you can do. A guy cumming isn’t the end of sex. Teach him how to finger you, eat you out, use toys on you, etc. Lots of things you can do to keep the party going after a nervous guy has creamed his pants.
Hi there, my first time i has so exited that i was unable to get a hard on. We were both virgins, so it toke about 3 weeks but we managed, no worries
Take it as a compliment he was that attracted to you and was willing to offer you something that special. As should either sex when it’s the first time, in my opinion anyway. Maybe read up on premature ejaculation to be educated on it and tell him as much. Let him know you were unaware that was possible but you care enough about him that you researched it so you could understand what happened in that moment to him. If YOU want to try it again, that is your choice and yours alone, not Reddits. I will say that you should both at the very least have a conversation as a sort of debrief so the shame he may be feeling can turn into comfort from you being willing to understand.
You’re already concerned so I can tell you genuinely care for him in some fashion at least. Just be gentle, we have issues too sometimes and can be crushed and embarrassed by them just as easy as women can when they may have something they feel shame from and can’t help. An understanding, and accepting partner is worth its weight in gold. Especially one that takes the extra time to try and understand and put themselves on our shoes.
Hes probably really embarrassed he will eventually come around. Pride might be hurt a bit for not bein able to wait for y’all to go all the way. It happens.
He felt / feels very vulnerable and is building a whole narrative in his head about you giggling with all your friends. Send a tease pic or tell a story about when you were embarrassed about something intimate. Assure him that it’s a secret that will never get out (until he finds this thread) and you’d like to try again.
As the one he did it for.. that is a compliment of sorts to how attractice you are to him… as for perfotmance anxiety.. well egos are fragile for both sexes.. and that is something that gets soothed with calm frank discussion. It can happen to anyone.. it is okay.. we can try again..
Now if he feels shame or embarrasment then other than reassurances. There isnt much you can do.. but dont beat yourself up about it.
If you like him for all the non sex stuff.. then invite him to do one of those activities you share.. and you can approach the topic in that com.fortable setting.
If you want to have sex with him, tell him that pretty bluntly. Tell him you really do not care that he came in his pants and if he’d not run you’d have cleaned him up and then fucked him after he got hard again and that if he comes over and cums in his pants he should tell you so you can go shower together and take it from there. Give him straightforward communication and make it clear like “if this happens again its a reason to take your pants off, not a reason to leave”
It’s happened to all young men. I think that you should be kind and you should not ever tell anyone else who knows him. That is what he’s worried about. Ok Ty for reading
A sexual malfunction for a guy is humiliating. Hard to say if he’ll feel comfortable being the one to initiate contact. Doubtful. So you probably have to take the lead if you want to try to move forward with him somehow. YOu could send him a well thought out text, and follow up with a phone call after he has had plenty of time to absorb your text. If it is true, you could tell him you are flattered by him being so attracted to you. Obviously acknowledge your confusion about what happened and that it doesn’t matter to you. He should understand that you already liked him enough to have sex with him and you can convey that nothing has changed your desire to have sex with him. Before you call, work out some scenarios on where it might be best to meet him and where and how it could go from there. Also, it would be good to sneak in somewhere that you would never discuss this with anyone else.
Almost certainly he’s super embarrassed. If you want to try again, then definitely do so. It will be important for him to get over his unnecessary embarrassment. This is super common.
Dude probably watched American Pie.
Tell him you thought it was really hot how he was so turned on by you and that it’s all cool, you would like to try again.
God I remember this feeling but from his perspective….
Just be reassuring bit maybe don’t make it the first thing you bring up. It’ll be okay.
It sounds like he is extremely embarrassed. If you want to try again you can try comforting him, pointing out it happens to the best of us (which it does). But it’s possibly he’s afraid to confront it.
Just give the guy time. And say it’s perfectly fine.
Uhhh reach out to him and tell him it’s okay? Text him that you want to try again and you’re not upset or anything.
Embarrassments 101
He’s likely super embarrassed and feels like he failed as a man/ lover. Most of us need more then one attempt at things to get it right , sex included 🤷♂️
I think the advice is going to depend on how exactly you reacted. Your post implies that you made a misstep, but did you laugh? Tease him? Show surprise? It might need a different approach depending on how you responded.