my bf has a weird fetish. in 99/100 ways, I love this man. but, Idk if this is a deal breaker. help.

37 comments

1. Lmfaoooooooooo fart in his face yo 😭😭😭😮‍💨

2. At least you can tell him this is a bright red line knowing about 99.99% of people are right there with ya. Maybe with a few more 9s on the end too

3. my brain can’t really wrap itself around this.

4. If I was in your position I would be livid. I don’t think leaving would make you a shitty person. You really need to ask yourself if you’re okay living with someone who is okay farting in your face with no regard for your consent.

5. You can have fantasies that don’t turn into reality. You can make it about dirty talk, but not actually do it again. But this is a hard line, and he has to respect that. You have to make it clear, if he doesn’t respect your boundaries it’s over.

   I also think there’s a deeper conversation about what’s driving this. I suspect there may be some low-key dominance and humiliation kinks at play here. If that’s the case, there may be alternatives.

6. you gotta skip town and change your name

7. Well just tell him every body has a line and unfortunately that is yours. Domination/humiliation kinks always have their pre-negociated limits.

   Anilingus is risky enough for your health on its own you don’t need fecal matter and gasses projected into your mouth and airways.

8. > He wasn’t fucking mortified he was turned the fuck on apparently, that was a calculated fart,

   I think this is the part that bothers me most. He put his sexual needs ahead of any concern for how you may feel about this. He didn’t talk to you about it first, or make sure you would be game. He purposely subjected you to it without your consent. That would be a deal breaker for me. If he’s willing to manipulate you into taking a fart to the face, what will he try to do this with next?

9. Just stand your ground. Tell him you’re not okay with it. It’s up to him to walk out on you if he thinks that’s a deal breaker. Sex can be good without that. If that’s a must for him. Sorry, you’ll have to break up.

10. People are weird.

11. Set your boundary clearly, and if he doesn’t respect it (or doesn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t share his fetish), end things.

12. Are you upset at all that the practiced a kink on you without consent? I felt kind of violated just reading what happened.My boyfriend loves me and respects me too much to see me as a mean to brief sexual gratification so my instant reaction to this is repulse. Plus you’re not interested, what more is there to it? Part of being in a relationship is bringing comfort and safety to your partner and knowing their limits.

13. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh. But what the fuck 😂

14. That’s bad. Farts carry little bits of fecal matter with it. That gets in your eyes you get pink eye. That eye infection is very contagious and very irritating. That idea of farting in your face is a no go and must stop

    Queefs don’t have fecal matter in them so he is not in any danger of getting sick from an accidental queef.

    Farting on your face is degrading and he needed to discuss this with you before he tried it. There are other things that he could try that are degrading that you may have approved of had he discussed this with you first. Farting in the face is not acceptable to me.

15. If he wants to fart in your face tell him if it stinks he’s getting a nice nut pull. Jfc I’m sorry 😨

16. A calculated fart lmao

17. [removed]

18. OK, the farts and pink eye thing has come up once or twice before on r/sex, and now in this thread. Time to clear the air, LOL, because while farts might give you temporary stink eye, they cannot give you pink eye.

    My source, thanks to a little Googlefoo, is [Allina Health](https://www.allinahealth.org/healthysetgo/prevent/the-ultimate-guide-to-pink-eye), so getting pink eye from farts is a myth:

    You cannot get pink eye from a fart.
    Flatulence is primarily methane gas and does not contain
    bacteria. Additionally, bacteria die quickly outside the body.

    Still gross and disgusting, and something I’d suggest you hard limit “absolutely not doing it” with him on. But the upside is experts say you’re not contracting pink eye from it.

    Good luck to you 🙂

19. Don’t have anything new to add but I do have a family friend who was like a brother to me in many ways who has this fetish. Since high school. He actually got in trouble for trying to get girls to record farts for him or talking about it with people non-consensually. Anyway I had to take a big step back from our relationship when he kept bringing it up to me and I didn’t want to engage. His partner (a woman) also never ever wanted to play into it and sadly I think it ended their relationship. I thought he got over it in high school but he got so obsessed it’s possible he’ll never be fully fulfilled without it. Could be true for your bf too if he was really that turned on and keeps bringing it up. Your story gave me the ick remembering being asked as a high schooler to record myself going to the bathroom :/ it’s really fine to not ever want to engage on that and totally not fine that he did that and isn’t taking your no as the final word.

    Side note does anyone remember that person from like a year or so ago who commented on all r/sex posts “I have a fart fetish!!!” And their username was like “Ilovefarts” and they seemed really into educating people about it and everyone was like “please stop commenting this on every post”. Did I hallucinate that?? Maybe send your bf their way….

20. Honestly it skeeves me out that he farted in your face on purpose without your consent. I’m impressed you kept going tbh, I’d probably go throw up and be done for the night.

    You need to have a conversation outside of the bedroom and Any bedroom activities about consent and boundaries. He did something without consent- not ok. It’s a hard boundary for you. You need to mutually decide if this is something that’s a deal breaker between you two. Or you can come to a compromise- turn the fart kink into dirty talk (pun intended) or if you’re ok with it, maybe he could be the receiver of the farts. But whatever you decide you do need to make sure the consent thing is first and foremost dealt with.

    Good luck dude and man what a stinky situation (I’m sorry I can’t help it)

21. I respect your commitment to a good time, but I think it is clear if this is something you truly don’t want, you need to stand firm.

    This is likely a domination desire that your boyfriend has, less about the act and more about the sense of dominance. His springing this on you without discussing it first sorta reaffirmed this in my mind. I don’t know how your relationship is outside the bedroom, but this may be indicative of other power dynamic issues occurring outside the bedroom.

    However, if that kind of role playing is not something you mind, there are other less “nasty” ways to fulfill this desire. But that is only if you are comfortable with engaging in that kind of sex play.

    Don’t let him strong arm you on this though, hold your ground and never allow yourself to be coerced into anything you don’t want. If that fetish is a deal breaker for both of you then there is not much that can be done about that.

22. That is definitely a deal breaker. I would literally throw up at the attempt. Not kink shaming but you can definitely say no to that

23. Deal Breaker

24. I’m sorry but I can’t stop laughing, the way you wrote this is funny as hell.

25. This is fake

26. First off, be aware of succumbing to the *sunk cost fallacy,* “And theres 9 years I’m not sure if I’m gonna walk away from or what.”

    Your BF has already shown he is calculating by deliberately farting and letting you think it was an accident. So he might be entirely counting on you thinking this way. You seem to to deliberately leave your ages out of this and ending a “9 year relationship” at 23 is not the same thing as ending it at 27. Lots if not most HS relationships fall apart when people hit their early to mid 20s. A lot of the ones that don’t should have because they end in divorce just 10 years later.

    Because many young people are still maturing into their adult selves when they met their HS sweethearts and those people simply don’t exist anymore just a few years down the road. Worse, one keeps maturing while the other locks themselves into that teenage persona. This is almost always guys, enabled first by their mothers and then by girlfriends who keep deluding themselves that they will one day motivate themselves to finally grow the fuck up if they just support them now and wait.

    You have a very simple choice: expect him to act like an adult and discuss this or resign yourself to catering to his ever new whim. Because you are about to set the terms for the rest of your relationship with this *boy.* And don’t forget, *HE* is the one who is forcing this come-to-Jesus moment. Taking you at your words here, you have conveyed to him that this is something entirely off the table for you going forward. If *he* can’t have a fulfilling sex life without it, then it is *he* who has essentially given you a implicit ultimatum: take my flatulence or take off.

    Trust me, the pain of ending this should it come to it is nothing compared to the self-loathing you will descend into if you allow him to ***degrade*** you with something you are adamantly against going forward.

    I’ll let others unpack what it means that he has become so obsessed with such a specific kink (“he says he dreams of it non stop… he’s telling me he doesn’t even cum without thinking of it now”) might suggest with his overall presence of mind.

27. I died reading this. Just tell him you’re not down for a pink eye

28. You’ve been together for 9 years just make sure he knows your not down he’ll get over it

    Edit if he doesn’t get over it then I don’t even know that’s pretty childish of him.

29. Not every fantasy has to be acted upon. If you can talk to him and he won’t do that again, or who knows, maybe you let him do it once a year on his birthday or something. If everything else is you two are perfect, you both can work this out. But if he does it when you don’t want him to and not give him permission to, that’s fucked up.

    Don’t feel guilty at all. You are in the right in this situation.

30. It’s not your fault because you introduced the idea of eating ass. He already had this fetish and took advantage by walking through the door you opened.

31. You’re entitled to your boundaries and your own limitations.
    This also disgusts me, personally, so it would be a hard boundary that can’t be crossed for me. If part of the debrief is him trying to talk you into this permanently, instead of being respectful of your interests, I’d be considering ending things.

32. > This mf wants to fart on my face.

    This is probably the best opening line I’ve ever read from this sub.

33. I wouldn’t be able to facilitate this kink for any amount of love. It will likely escalate also. Good luck. Hopefully he can hot box himself but it would be a hard NO from me and I’m sorry it’s unfolded this way.

34. Get some fart spray. Spray it at his face if he does it again. Do it every time . Eventually he’ll not like doing it—think Pavlov’s dog…

35. Oh my God. I would be PIIIISSSSSSSSEDDDDD. I am going to forget I read this because this man is too much to even read about. I agree with everyone, this was not okay. Sorry but yeah I’m kink shaming. The farting in someone’s mouth is weird, the doing it without consent or warning is a red flag and a turnoff.

36. A calculated fart. You definitely have a way with words!!! I very much enjoyed reading this post. I’m sorry, I’ve got nothing in the way of advice to offer, sadly. I guess just try and talk about it? Surely, he will understand you not wanting to have ass ripped directly in your face.

37. I genuinely I’m not a kink shamer but that is absolutely vile it would be a huge dealbreaker for me. I wouldn’t even give it a second thought.