Men, do you like it when a person is being upfront with you about anything and everything?

35 comments

  1. Usually yes. Good surprises are usually okay. Bad surprises usually don’t go over well with me.

  3. I like honesty

    But i also dont like people that are randomly blunt or say what doesn’t need to be said

    Like i have some insecurities etc, i dont need that pointed out even if its true

  4. Yes, but music is made by different tones.

    Screaming guitars, can be nice, but not in a Beethoven masterpiece ….. if you get my drift.

  5. Transparency and clear communication is the key to any social situation. Don’t waste your own time or have anyone waste yours. Less likely for things to go south that way ¯_(ツ)_/¯

  6. I like people who are upfront and honest, and I try to be that way too . . . but about literally anything and everything?

    That just sounds like aggression/ bad manners. Few people like someone who is so abrasive and rough. If you’re going to say something, tell the truth, but if you’re gonna say something mean, just keep your mouth shut . . . no lies, and no rudeness. Win/win

  8. Vocal people are what the world needs playing the guessing game is setup for failure if you know what cards are on the table u ain’t gonna gamble on s 3of diamonds with an 8of clubs high lol 😆

  9. I think everyone prefers honesty.

    But this does not mean you should be straightforwardly blunt for everything. Trust me, it’s not practical.

    I’ve yet to meet a dude who responds well when you say: “*Hey dumbass, why did you act like a fucking idiot over there?”* Please tell me of a guy that would respond well to that lol. But I feel like a lot of guys possess zero filter in their messaging.

    Instead, being like: “*Hey, why did you act like that? You know that’s not appropriate.”* That will really make one pay attention.

  10. Yes as long as it’s done respectfully. Some people think being the “straightforward friend” means it’s okay to be devoid of all compassion or empathy.

    I don’t think people should keep silent. If your friend needs to hear something, tell them, but there are ways to do it coherently and constructively.

  11. Well generally yes, but there are ways about it. Habitually being deliberately antagonistic and confrontational is not a great way to win friends and influence people, but neither is being extremely diplomatic and trying so desperately hard not to rock the boat that they just can’t decipher the point.

  12. Sorta. Honesty is nice but unsolicited honesty can sometimes merge into rudeness

  15. Depends on the nature of disclosure. Plus always question their motives. Eventually the clearer picture will present itself. Play the game but don’t invest yourself too much into that person as truthfullness too can be a tool of or for (further) manipulation. Remain vigilant. 🤔😉😎

  16. As long as they’re not rude or aggressive, then absolutely. I hate guessing games, and sometimes, I won’t understand what someone’s trying to say unless they tell me directly, so upfront people are a godsend

  18. Depends from person to person
    For me being upfront and critical is important because maybe it shows you what you are rather than what you think you are. So I like it although it may hurt sometimes.

    But yes since you mentioned anything and everything – it seems wierd because the same things applies to the other person. Neither the other person is always right.

  19. It depends. This is one of those things that sounds good when simply put but there’s more to it.

    I don’t like David Goggins types who take it upon themselves to go around gut-punching everyone and telling them what their biggest weaknesses are. Nobody wants to hear the top ten business tips and why you’re lazy for not starting a new company every year. Plus, you get those people who think fault-finding is the same as doing productive work, and go around assigning blame and not much else.

    I appreciate my wife because she doesn’t play games. In everything but rare cases, she says what she means and does what she says. I do my best to do the same.

    In a work setting, I expect my people to be honest when I need information, but if people under me are handling a task, I don’t necessarily need a full explanation of how and why they did their job. Just get it done and don’t do anything that’s going to get us in trouble. I don’t need to know that you took a two hour lunch if all of the donuts got made and we’re ahead of schedule.

  20. Yes, even when it might be hurtful. I appreciate actual honesty and can deal with actual criticism, nevertheless I am willing to hear it out with being a whimp or a manchild and it allows me to believe them more when they compliment me on something.

  21. Most people who insist that they are just “brutally honest” or “tell it like it is/they see it” are just rude jerks.

    Honesty has nothing to do with rudeness. It’s funny how these “brutally honest” people aren’t quite that honest when it comes to talking about *their* shortcomings or what *they* did wrong.

  23. You can frase honesty in a way that is direct and nice. Also don’t give people advice unless they ask for it, sometimes people just want to vent a little bit.

  24. Honesty yes of course.

    But relaying all thoughts feelings and interactions that cross them? Not really.

    Privacy is a thing and it’s ok to have some.

    If someone is telling me something that seems irrelevant, my first question is “why are they telling me this? What do they have to gain?”

    Even my partner I don’t need everything shared. Even if a guy talks to her I trust her to respond appropriately. I don’t need a report that some guy was flirting with her – all it does it make me jealous and activate insecurities. If it becomes a recurring issue that’s another story. But one off interactions that are just hers?

  25. So the answers seen in this thread show: people like honesty, but only when it’s what they already want to hear.

    If it’s a positive thing, they want to hear it. If it’s a negative thing, then they probably don’t want to hear it, but if you say it very obliquely, using a lot of qualifiers, then they may listen to it if you say it in a very nonthreatening tone.

    You see, they don’t actually prefer honesty, but it sounds good to say they do.

  28. People think they like honesty, but they really dont. They like honesty on select things where they are aleeady prepared for it. Rest they can only deal with dishonest answers as honesty ruins their confidence, feel insulted etc

    Now im focusing on the negative stuff since everyone likest honest positive feedback, nothing to discuss about that.

  30. I’d say yes – I like people to be upfront about anything and everything.

    The problem is – I don’t want to talk (or get comment) about anything and everything from everybody. To talk about some topics you need to get my trust.

    Then there is another thing – can I do anything with their comment ?

    If somebody tells me directly I stepped in dog shit (and havent noticed) – thanks, I’ll clean my shoe.

    If somebody tells me my haircut looks like shit – well, I won’t change it soon, so I now feel a bit worse.

    And as mentioned by others – form is important. Most people like honesty in content of communication, but not always blunt or rude form.

  32. You want someone who is upfront and anything. You want someone who is honest. You don’t want it to be used as a political weapon (in any relationship). To hurt others and being toxic person.

  34. Yes. If I’ve fucked up, then usually I know I’ve fucked up but being called out on it makes me a lot more likely to properly reflect on it, own it and make the relevant changes. So long as it’s done respectfully, then no issues. Same goes for positive feedback.

    If some is just oversharing then yeah can get a bit uncomfortable, not sure what upfront meant in your post.

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