I am a very lone person, it’s a choice and I love it. But from time to time I make friends and now one of them has come to visit me for four days for the weekend and it’s driving me mental because he is always hanging around me and wanting to go where I go and do what I do and eat when I eat and whatever…I’m just not used to it and there is still two days to go. I’m typing this in bed because this is the only freedom I have, I know in a while I need to get up and pretend I’m enjoying the time with him…don’t get me wrong, I like him, he is a friend I suppose but it’s okay when we meet for an hour or two but this all day every day thing is driving me insane
…can anyone offer advice?
Edit: Friend picked up on the vibes and has moved out to a hotel, we will meet later for lunch and beers and excursions but all in all it feels much lighter now.
Thanks everyone for the advice
3 comments
Perhaps tell him you need some space and send him off on something he can do on his own?
I’d say try to be a bit more present and realistic. This will be over in two days so try to focus more on the enjoyment of company but also reassure yourself it isn’t forever. Maybe plan things to do if you haven’t already that helps break time up. Also, talking and explaining to your friend is really helpful. Even if you frame it in a white lie like “I don’t function until an hour after my coffee” you’re just letting them know, “hey I might be a little antisocial but you haven’t done anything.” Also, make sure they feel at home in your home, give them access/show them how to get on your Netflix or whatever so they can occupy themselves when needed, then they won’t be waiting around for you either. It is perfectly normal to feel this way though, my friend stays often and you do get that burn out but she’s so comfortable in my home now that she will go watch Netflix in the spare room or things like that. You most likely won’t remember the burn out but how fun it was once its over, or you learned that an extended weekend stay is too long for you so your next plans can be shorter. Good luck
Maintaining relationships is all about compromise and negotiation. You and the other person have social needs that are met through interacting. Some people like to be around others a lot and others don’t.
This comes with the territory of socializing and keeping social connections alive. If you really can’t handle being around this person for more than a few hours, you need to let them know. Or find someone who can match your level of social needs.