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I work at a energy facility so I am a bit of a nerd, you can imagine. But I think I do look good, as I have girls who try to go out with me and had 2 girlfriends before. It is just that I am somehow insecure when it comes to a girl I find very, very attractive. And this girl I have a crush on is dating a man who is 8years older than me. ok, he is in very ood shape and has good looks so the age is not the problem I am 6 years older than she (She is 20… 21).
He treats her badly, humiliates her in public. She trusted him enough to tell him about how her parents abandoned her and he started talking about it in front of other 5 people. She had tears in her eyes. That night I ended up alone with her. I walked her home because he was in a hurry as his night shift started. We all work at the same place, although she is not directly working with us. She is not an engineer, just does some basic paper work. I am intimidated by him and so are we all, my co-workers I mean. He is the shift supervisor But I like her a lot and I asked her why someone so nice as her stays with such a mean man. She told me she is lonely and he is the only person she has in her life. I couldnt even sleep that nigt and invented scenarios with what I do next to make her leave him and kind of save her. I know, is childish. But the next day he came to me and told me she talked to him and told him I called him mean and questioned her why is she dating him. I denied it all, but well it is obvious I am in deep sh!t. Why she did it, why she told him? For what? I feel such a loser now
11 comments
This is going to sound very harsh.
She isn’t a child. You aren’t her protector. Stop trying to save her. She very clearly does not want to be saved.
I’m glad I learned this lesson in my younger years. I had a peer who told me and some other friends about a man who made her very uncomfortable with his advances, so I confronted him about it thinking I could make things better. I didn’t. Really what I did was ruin the relationship between that guy and I since we were friends, and the girl as well since apparently she “liked the attention” despite being hit on so directly.
You tried doing what we call “dirty macking.” Don’t ever tell a girl you’re interested in that her man is bad or is abusive, even if he is. That’s for her friends and family to confront her about, not you.
You shouldn’t even be surprised she told him about you. That’s her literal boyfriend. She probably tells him everything you’ve ever said to her.
You can lie to him, but he knows you like his girlfriend and he knows that you’re trying to separate them. Any guy who has ever had an honest, moderately attractive girl knows almost every guy who tries to hit on her. Girlfriends talk, and they talk a lot.
And he is your supervisor? Dude…what the fuck were you thinking???
She is a train wreck and is actively looking for that kind of treatment by him. Why would you want to date a woman with this mental health background?
Put your cape away. She doesn’t need to be saved.
That’s her choice in men and her life. Respect it and keep it moving.
Let her complain about her “choice” to her gf.
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I hope you have learned to stay out of such things. She wants him, and she obviously has serious mental problems. But that’s not your problem, because you are neither her protector nor her therapist. If she seriously wanted help, she would get it. She probably has a massive self-esteem problem and really expects to be treated like shit. Stay away from such women.
It’s an age old advice but Ignorance is truly bliss. Just learn not to feel the need to be the saviour of other people’s relationships. Mind your own business and let others handle their shit
Instead of trying to save her I suggest running far away from this situation.
You can’t save those who don’t want to save themselves. Don’t wait up for her.
Unfortunately, some people take advantage once they realize you are a good person. Please remove yourself from this situation. Your peace of mind will thank you.
“Don’t save her, she don’t wanna be saved”
~ J. Cole – No Role Modelz
Put your suit of white armour back in the cupboard man