So im 27 and wife is 25 we been together for 10 years and we have 2 kids we started very young.. and now we are having problem with intimacy long story short
I was her first and i been with other women before her but i was probably 14.. so idont have that much experience.. bc i just dedicated my life to work and take care of family not time to play around with womens… we have a bought a house and we are good financially.. but we are having problems with marriage because of sex i just made her orgasm for first time couple of months ago and since then its been really hard so we keep trying and we discovered she can orgasm easier from riding on top but that just happened few times not really that often because it was hard for me to last so now we try to talk about it because we were really about to divorce and sell the house but we decided to try im trying my best i started using delay spray , bluechew and stuff like that and its working i last more but now she cant orgasm she said she don’t feel me inside her anymore she dont feel please just going in – out .. everyday she is upset and bad temper she just keep telling me she wants to orgasm but i ask her what you like what is your body asking for lets have communication but she keeps say i should know that im a guy i asked her if she have masturbated before she said why would she do that if she have me im like you need to know what you like !!! I don’t know if im right or wrong .. i eat her out and i think im good on that part because i feel her legs shaking alot and getting super wet while fingering her but than she stop me and say ya put your dick inside after 5 mins of eating her out she don’t leave me explore and try to make her orgasm and idk if this is important but she don’t like sucking dick she just want me to eat her out so what kinda of foreplay we can try if im the only one doing something i tried kissing all her body massage and all of that she gets horny and wants me to put my dick immediately … and when we have sex she just want to have sex and expect me to make her orgasm with out even kissing or eating her out and i feel really bad she keep telling me my dick useless and im not a real man because i cant make her orgasm today we try she got on top but i feel she is overthinking she keeps trying her self orgasm but she couldn’t and its frustrating.. because its making feel real bad.. any solutions ? By the way im average 6” penis is it maybe my size because she dont feel it ? But she told me before she used to feel it alot and even hurt her sometimes .. so what happened now ? I been reading alot and i know now theres different types of orgasm clit and vaginal .. but she only thinks putting my dick inside and move im supposed to make her orgasm and i been telling her lets try new stuff talk to me but she keeps refusing and keep telling me that im supposed to know .. plus kids are 3 & 7 i think is part of the problem because whenever we want time for ourself they 3 years old is already crying and we cant even be by ourself for 10 mins !!! Its been like that for the last few years and sometimes i be like lets to a motel after work she is like why would i ? I have my own bed , when kids fall sleep is already late and if we try to have sex she wants something quick before its getting more late and we have work tomorrow which idont mind staying late having sex with her but she says she need her sleep so wth im supposed to do???
6 comments
Idk man, you seem like a nice guy, you are trying to help her but i think she’s the one that don’t help herself. I mean, you are right, how can a person know what the other likes or want if the other doesn’t know it himself? Also, she calling you names like “not a real man” it’s not cool. Btw, a woman having a orgasm only by penetration is pretty hard, usually a woman have an orgasm by penetration and something else like kisses and stuff. But pure penetration and nothing more, is almost impossible
There’s a lot to unpack here!
When she says “you’re supposed to know”, it’s bullshit – we can’t know unless she tells us!
Every woman is different, so what I say may be different for you. For my wife and I, the more foreplay that we have, the more intense her orgasms. Don’t be so focussed on the orgasm, try and be focussed on the journey, the feelings, the expectation. Try some relaxation exercises, scented candles, something to set the mood. Is there some issue that’s worrying her? Anxiety is a real mood killer, so see if you can reduce that first.
Maybe try some books like “she comes first”, and “he comes next”, or even find a sex therapist. Note that these only work if you’re both committed to working through the issues.
Your best bet is to have some frank discussion outside of the bedroom. The best time to talk is not late at night. Agree to put aside some time during the day so you can talk about this uninterrupted.
Good luck, and don’t give up!
You both need to sit down and talk about sex being fun. When it becomes stressful, a mind game, and even turning into rude name calling it’s time to take a step back. Ask her what she wants from sex, and she should inquire for you as well. It’s a two way street – like anything in a relationship. As the reply above says penetration orgasms are difficult. It takes lot of patience and technique for most couples (from a guys perspective). Don’t refer to porn as it isn’t helpful with that stuff cause it’s acting, and even the amateur stuff is overblown. Essentially you two need to create your magic, don’t base it off of what you see in porn.. if you are. At the end of the day just have fun, take your time, and if she really wants to have orgasms from riding you look up techniques you can do, such as: flexing your dick, touching her back, kissing her neck and ears, and sucking and licking her nipples. Just make her feel like a gotdamn queen and adore her when she’s riding.
So much here.
First communication is key, you both need to explore her body. Take the time to figure out what feels good and what does not.
She needs to stop rushing it and just enjoy. Also she should play with herself.
Second, lasting longer, try jerking off earlier in the day. If that does not work, try a cock ring. It helps some people
Third, might be party of the communication, talk to her about adding toys to the sex.
Lastly, education. Find some material to read and learn. Sounds like you both got stuck with life and never explored the sex part of it.
Check this site out. Might help a bit.
https://badgirlsbible.com/
Best of luck.
1 – Use a good silicone based lube like Exxtreme Glide Silicone, Pjur Backdoor, Uberlube… to decrease friction in comparison to the thrusting.
2 – Try to stimulate 2 or more of the 3 pleasure centers to get her to orgasm (clitoris, g-spot and fornix)
4 – Try new positions to make it easier to stimulate multiple pleasure centers at once.
5 – Our goto positions are scissors, misaligned spooning, prone bone and table top on a high bed.
6 – You may try simulated dp (a dildo inside her vagina that gets pushed inside with each thrust of you into her tushy) as a way to get her to orgasm more reliably.
7 – When you’re feeling tired or more anxious, just take a low dose of Cialis 5mg to help you.
8 – your wife may have responsive desire (google it) and it may be the reason she doesn’t know what she likes. If she has responsive desire, your desire for her is more important than the acts you decide to do to her.
9 – Have a good conversation about consent in your relationship and ask her if she desires a freeuse dynamic …
Good luck 🍀 and don’t forget to have fun!
From my experience, it takes at least 20-30 minutes of foreplay and concentrated oral stimulation to get my girl off. Sounds like yours lets you go down for 5 minutes then tells you to stick it in … and 75%++ of women absolutely can’t have an orgasm *at all* with PIV stimulation. She’s setting herself up for failure.
That said, having kids around and finding quality (30-60 minutes) for a full session is tough. Might get a little easier when they’re in school, or you can get a baby-sitter or something else so you can have the house to yourselves.