I’m a fairly attractive guy and can get dates from apps easily. Been on a few dates in the past year and I always get over 5 dates with a person. I have had really good connections with these girls and have liked them but for some reason I can’t get myself to make a move, like I’m not capable of it.
I really don’t know where to start physically and can never find the right moment. I feel like I would be invading their space if I ever try anything. Everyone one of theses girls have friend zoned me around 5-7 dates because I make 0 moves by then. How can I get myself to be more physical with them without being afraid.
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Sometimes you just have to go in for a kiss. I remember recently I met a girl from tinder literally the same night I matched with her… picked her up and took her for a drive, we parked up and spoke for about an hour then I drove her home. As we said goodbye I just leaned over and began kissing her, we ended up dating for a month after that. You have to just go in for a kiss especially at the end of the night then you’ll likely get invited into their place or progress to the back seat 😂. If a girl is dating you 5 – 7 times I’d be fairly confident they are attracted to you so no need to fear rejection!
How do these dates go? Is there a lot of laughing/flirting? My best dates start off with me going in with the mentality of “I’m just gonna have fun and meet someone new”. Every time I have just focused on having fun, things have worked out nicely.
There’s a few things you can do to increase your chances of having a great date (by great date I mean, you and her having fun, escalating physical/sexual tension, etc). I always tell guys to start off with a hug when meeting for the first time. It’s the safest way to break the physical barrier right off the bat. Stand up straight, face her head on with confidence, ask for her name and give her a hug. Always assume internally that someone wants this, until they show you they don’t. It’s important to keep an eye on her body language when doing that. Don’t force it if she visibly backs away or looks intimidated. Do assume however internally that she wants a hug from you, because you’re a catch. Carry yourself as one.
After a hug, get to know her. Find common interests. Listen to her stories, ask questions, chime in with your experiences. This builds connection over time. You both like to travel? Talk about your favorite places or where you’d like to go. Both had shitty parents? Makes jokes about how you’re both apex humans for surviving (I’m pulling stuff out but you get it lol). Start to throw in jokes/tease her a bit about some of those experiences. If you get her laughing naturally, you win.
If things are going well (she’s laughing, opening up and talking a lot, receptive to you, etc), it’s time to slowly start escalating physically. If you leave a restaurant, ask if she wants to get a drink somewhere (if conversation was good). If she says yes and starts walking next to you, try holding her hand. Again, assume she wants it, but don’t force it. Always gauge her body language.
I could go on but this is going to turn into a novel lol. Key take aways are:
– Assume internally that someone wants to be with you
– Go for a hug early to break physical barrier
– Build connection through stories/hobbies
– Let her do most of the talking, ask questions and listen
– If she’s laughing a lot and opening up, you win
– The best dates are easy. Women with high interest will make it easy for you. If you get her comfortable/laughing, her interest will be high
I’m actually genuinely surprised that girls are willing to go on 5-7 dates with you without making a move. A lot of girls will reject guys if they don’t make a move on the first or second date
I wouldn’t go on 5 dates with every one of them. A lof of these girls are used to meeting a guy and then sleeping with him on that day. So now they will be confused and don’t understand what you want. If you can’t make anything happen in 1-2 dates then imho it’s a waste of time.
I literally have no game, so just up front. I say ask ‘can I put my arm around you now?’ or ‘when can I kiss you?’
They already know you’re into them so they want you to make moves. There’s nothing to be afraid of when bc you’ve already done the hardest part, which was asking them out
If I dated you, my preference would be around date 3, you say “look, I’m attracted to you and want to make a move, but honestly my anxiety is keeping me from going for it. If you’re attracted to me and want things to progress, would you mind initiating that?”
Maybe that would turn some women off, but I love direct communication, and hearing that would reassure me that you wanted to get physical and just felt anxious about being in the driver’s seat. (Honestly just reading how articulately you describe the situation I’m thinking, man, this guy is a catch.)