So, my boyfriend asked me to be his girlfriend when we were both 12 and we have been going strong ever since. I am now 18 and he is 19. I am scared that we will get tired of each other and won’t end up getting married or having the life we dream of together. I wanna get married and have kids with him some day I’m just scared because we have been together SO long we might not make it that far. Should I be nervous? I’m not sure what to doooooooooo.
7 comments
You’re still literally kids. Chill out. You also have family and friends. You have plenty of love and there are plenty of boys out there even if you realize you grew up into different people.
It’s normal to have that fear. Honestly, even if you’re married to somebody, even if you have kids, it’s always a possibility that you’ll grow apart.
That’s life. Nothing is for sure, and it’s important to learn how to appreciate what you have in the moment rather than clinging to it and believing it would be intolerable to lose it.
Now, I’m not saying you’re going to fail! I have known couples who have met as kids who were together until they were old and wrinkly. That might be you.
If you want things to last, have shared goals and a clear plan for the future. Keep things fresh and don’t stagnate. Accept the change that you and he both experience as you grow and enter new periods of life. Maintain a rich and varied set of friends, and don’t feel obliged to be together all the time. Cultivate clear communication and live in vulnerability and honesty. These are time-tested ways to keep a relationship strong and healthy!
Why does it scare you?
Stop wanting an outcome and want to enjoy your life.
If it feels right then it will work out.
If it doesn’t then it will not. No fear needed. It just means a new adventure and person. That may shatter the fantasy but dating about real life.
Nothing to fear. Just work to have a happy life and want the right person.
I met my husband when we were 15 and 16. We went to college then got married. I don’t think he is tired of me yet. I’m not tired of him. We will see how the next year unfolds (kidding). Married 41 years.
Old dude here.
Here’s the secret. You have to be your own people and be yourselves with each other, but you’re both going to do a lot of growing up over your lives – a lot of that growing up is going to be driven by the things your partner won’t tolerate. A relationship with good communication that establishes healthy boundaries is like an engine for growing up. It’s all about communication in the long haul.
It’s normal to have those fears. We all fear the unknown in our lives. At some point we all have to make a decision on what we want whether that’s relationship or jobs or whatever. If you feel good about your situation you gotta roll with it or you’ll never commit to anything. Endings are a normal part of life just as beginnings and everything in between.
I know a few couples who met young or started dating young, and the long term successful ones didn’t rush into marriage/kids. 29 is the perfect age to start trying anyway (Imo)