I dated someone for about 8 months, it was an intense relationship. We both struggle with mental illness, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I have borderline personality disorder. We ended it just because it was becoming unhealthy. 10 months later, today, he calls me. We hadn’t talked in 5 months. He basically called to tell me about how he wasn’t doing well, how he was hospitalized and how he is going to end up alone. He said he saw that I am in a stable happy relationship (which I currently am) and also sees his ex engaged, and he feels as though he is lost and will never find someone. I can tell he’s in a bad place. I’m over him and am in a much healthier and happier relationship, but I can’t help but feel sad. How would you approach this situation? Would you text them and tell them that you are there whenever you need to talk? Because I feel like saying that but at the same time I feel like I shouldn’t be responsible for his happiness anymore.
Td;lr: My ex seems distressed and I feel terrible. I’m not sure if I should try to help him get through this by offering my support when he needs, or cut things off.
3 comments
Distance yourself. Be nice and wish him well but you don’t have anything to offer him.
I don’t deal with them. I made that mistake once never again. Tell him your sorry he’s not doing well give him a local mental help number and tell him not to contact you again. You can’t fix him or save him and he’s hoping for a do over so he can focus on something other than working on himself.
Put space between you two. You cannot fix him and engaging may jeopardize your current mental state as his emotions may bleed into yours.