I was reading how to win friends and influence people and got to a chapter where the author says you will be liked and well received if you are more or a listener and asks questions because every body likes talking about themselves.
I found I’ve always done this anyway in my life because i am naturally shy also introverted which meant i didn’t like talking and much less about myself so I always asked questions and listened to other people. But I always thought I the back of my mind they thought I was strange cause I didn’t really speak.
In your experience, is this quite obvious and is it seen as weird? The book recommends it but I always thought people catch on to that.
3 comments
Just saying, this advice works because ‘everybody likes talking about themselves’ and then you told us that you don’t like talking about yourself at all.
Influencers make money by being confident and selling books, there’s no magic advice that will help you with everyone.
That’s why the best advice tends to be ‘be yourself’ your most natural self is going to be the best company for other people and generally when it isn’t, that’s because you would be in the wrong company.
If I were to constantly ask people about sports and things I don’t know or care about too much, it wouldn’t exactly be fun for either of us and after a while they’d catch on.
It’s ok to be polite but your new best friend will quickly work out that you don’t share any interests or hobbies and all you’ve done is read a book on social structuring.
You can comment on interests but generally conversations go smoother if you both know what’s going on and have the same experience.
I’m a major introvert, they don’t catch on as people do like talking about themselves. You might like r/introvert
Also I share this excellent article on being an introvert…
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/302696/
In my experience no because I do the exact same thing.