I went on one date with a guy I had been talking to. Everything was great and we decided to meet again in a few days. I just wanted to check if the effort is mutual (coz that really helps me maintain a balance) so I didn’t text him just to see if he does and its been 2 weeks even he hasnt texted me. Even before I was the one who usually initiated conversations. I just couldn’t get intimate with someone who can’t even make the effort to reach out. Does this mean he’s not interested, he’s got a big ego? Should I just drop this?

11 comments
  1. It’s as important as you want it to be

    Some people don’t care for it

    If you feel an imbalance and it’s not to your liking then move on. That’s the purpose of dating, to see if you’re a good fit and the basics align

  2. Why bother playing games lol?

    You initiate conversations and he doesn’t. If he’s not into you he’s not going to initiate. You are more than welcome to ask him what kind of level of texting/calling you guys should have.

    Maybe he’s bad at texting, maybe he’s shy, maybe he is unsure, just ask him.

  3. He probably took it as if you weren’t interested anymore.

    Communication is so poor dating today, and with so much emphasis on what a guy should or shouldn’t do, he probably didn’t want to keep texting you and be left on read.

    He took his L and kept it moving than to waste time & effort wondering if you’re actually busy or not.

  4. Even if he’s a nice guy he’ll never be friendly/texty/conversational to the level that would make you happy. It sounds like one of your main love languages is verbal.

  5. I’ve been in this exact situation lol. I stopped initiating and we haven’t talked in about a week and a half. I just assumed he wasn’t interested and I’m moving on. I suggest you do the same. If he was interested, he’d reach out. The guy I was talking to had me on Snapchat and would watch my stories but still not text. It sucked for a day but you’ll get over it eventually. Sorry that happened to you!

  6. Personally, texting is pretty important to me and it gives me anxiety if the other party takes too long (more than a day) to reply.
    If you’re still interested in him, I suggest going ahead and just ask. Bad communication is horrible.

  7. In general the importance of texting is up to the two people in the relationship. There’s no universal answer. I will say though that from a lot of people’s perspective, over texting someone is generally worse than under texting. We think that over texting can drive a person away and make us feel lame when they leave, where as under texting is more likely to come off as less needy and therefore more likely to work when it comes to keeping them interested. It can turn into a toxic game REAL quick but it’s a point of view that has real merit and many can attest to the validity of it.

  8. It seems like he just likes the attention and isn’t that invested in having a relationship with you. You should find someone who will put in equal effort or it’ll be draining for you. Even if he’s a bad texted, he should’ve hit you up sometime within two weeks.

  9. I don’t think texting daily is a necessity, and sometimes it’s not a big deal to go a while without talking to someone. But two weeks seems really long. Personally I would rule him out and move on. It’s totally possible that something has come up in his life that needs his attention, but more likely he just hasn’t texted. If he eventually reaches out, then you can try again but there’s no point it waiting around forever.

    To be fair though, I probably would’ve sent him a message a while back too though. It’s totally possible he’s doing the same thing you are and is waiting for you to start the chat.

  10. I think im going to move on..I don’t the vibe that he’s into anything serious. Thank u so much for your help!

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